Yet another Matilda met me on Thursday. This one was petulant. On the drive out to the barn, I went through the same mental routine and was determined to have a pleasant time with Matilda no matter what. She had apparently gone through a mental routine of her own and decided to test me.
I try to spend a little time with Matilda, but without carrots, first thing. I kick the ball or scritch her (She's much more amenable to contact when I don't have carrots. Brat.) and just relax. I'm starting to realize that this is also a good way to gauge her mood before we actually get into work mode.
On this beautiful Thursday, she walked right up to me and checked me for food. Our basic mauling scenario. I shoved her away and started playing with the ball. She didn't even look at it, just walked up and nosed me all over again. "Please, not another Monday," I thought. I walked away and she came after me, then passed me, then cut me off. Things were not looking good. We worked this out a little although I had to press her back, whereas yesterday all I had to do was point and say "Back".
When we got to a nice sunny spot, I started to give her what I thought was some nice scritching. This is when Matilda showed me something new.
She walked away and turned her backside to me. She didn't go back to her hay spot or feign interest in the ball or nose around the ground, ignoring me. She simply turned her "back" to me. Her head was up and she was watching me over her shoulder as she stood there, unmoving. I really didn't know what to do with that. She was making a loud and clear statement about how she felt today, that's for sure. If I hadn't been so surprised and perplexed I probably would have just fallen on the ground laughing.
After a moment, I realized that she was not going to move on her own, I was not going to go get the carrots while she stood there (I suppose) pouting and I had brought my camera with me. I didn't take a picture of that moment, I wish I had, but this one is similar to what I was seeing from her.
Since I had my camera, I wandered around playing, taking pictures of interesting stuff in the paddock. She continued to watch me over her shoulder for a while, before moving back to her hay and I had a decision to make. Apparently Matilda was in a mood, so did I get the carrots and start in on work? I felt like that might be giving in, so I went the other route and left her. This is a difficult thing for me to do.
Since I had my camera, I wandered around playing, taking pictures of interesting stuff in the paddock. She continued to watch me over her shoulder for a while, before moving back to her hay and I had a decision to make. Apparently Matilda was in a mood, so did I get the carrots and start in on work? I felt like that might be giving in, so I went the other route and left her. This is a difficult thing for me to do.
If I could be at the barn all day, every day I would just come and go, working with Matilda in little bits throughout the day. But I can't. I have 3 days... 3 mornings. I have a routine. Walking away is so hard, we have so much to do.
I came back later and we attempted some of the basic things that she had done so beautifully on Tuesday, but 'twas not to be. Every time I moved a hand she nosed it. The quietness was gone from her body. Another decision to be made. This time I didn't leave, but I made an abrupt change to the plan and focused on the ball.
I kicked it over to her and when she put her nose on it: Click! Within a few minutes of clicking, she was actually able to pick up the ball with her mouth and shake it a little. I was enjoying watching her figure it out. Then she was done. I could just see the disconnect in her face. I might have been able to work with her on something else, but why risk the frustration and possible mauling. Remember, I was determined to keep a positive attitude today. She had started on something new and done pretty well, especially when you consider how the morning began. Let well enough alone.
It's obvious that Matilda and I still have some serious relationship building to do. Things are improving, however, and I learned many valuable lessons this week. A few of them are:
1) Give Matilda your time and attention by making a conscious effort to be relaxed, not rushed.
2) Be willing to walk away.
3) Be willing to change things up radically instead of putting your head down, barreling through and forcing things that are probably not going to happen.
4) Get sunscreen.
Another thought has occurred to me since Thursday:Are our bad days the ones when I haven't seen Matilda for a day or two? Do our good days tend to be the few days when I have been able to work with her on consecutive days? Something else that bears observation and awareness going forward.
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