I turned 38 on Saturday. Last year, I skulked into 37, my typical shrinking violet, hoping that no one would notice while secretly waiting for someone to make me feel special. Incongruous. My new favorite watchword. Honestly, despite my skulking and weird feelings about turning 37, it was a really awesome year. Highlights included:
getting a tattoo
losing 40 lbs,
converting to Catholicism
feeling my first buck (in memoriam, Plum),
riding Matilda and throwing myself full force into the life of Bramblewood Stables.
With all that amazing-ness there was the odd realization of simply growing older. I grew up a baby sister in a family of first borns, was one of the younger members of my schooling class, married an older man and just always seemed drawn to people older than myself. I've always been the youngest, the baby. This summer, sitting around the barn talking to my colleagues and some of the girls that are always there in the summer, I suddenly realized I was the oldest one there (even if just by 6 weeks). How did that happen?!? It was a bit of a shock and it's taken me some time to get over myself.... I may not be there yet....
I've also been reading "Tao of Equus", a fascinating book that sort of lays out the mysticism and spirit of the horse, drawing a lot from myth and legend among other things. The book lays the foundation for a method of equine assisted psychotherapy and it is where I picked up my new favorite word, incongruous The author uses it to describe words or behaviors that are out of sync with how we actually feel (like telling people you are fine when you are angry, sad or worried, JENN) and it has impacted me greatly. I've been making a great attempt of late to understand and express my own true feelings.... express them better than I have in the past, at least.
Thinking about my last birthday, the amazing year of 37 and my past incongruous behavior, I decided I wanted to share my enthusiasm for the coming year and so I told everyone about my birthday! Store clerks, students, waiters and jazz musicians. Oh the reward! Gifts, cakes, congratulations on my 25th :D, 'Take 5' played for me, general happiness and a birthday ride (basically cantering while you scream BIRTHDAY RIDE!!! WOOT WOOT!!!) to name a few of the joys of the day. What a lesson in sharing yourself with the people in your world.
And so I continue to look back at the accomplishments of the year and move forward into the next, even as I strive to reduce the incongruent behaviors in my life (how many times can I use the word?? It's wonderful to say out loud too) and since this is supposed to be a blog about barn life:
I feel I have completed my goals for this first year teaching at the barn (well, as much as one can in an ever-evolving environment) namely building my student base, increasing my presence (going from 'who does she think she is?' to 'Miss Sarah, do you think it would be ok if I....?') and getting a decent handle on the day to day workings and priorities of the barn as a whole.
This year will see a shift in my priorities as I look to create a more in depth plan for Matilda's day to day care and grooming, hopefully take more riding lessons but most importantly search out and begin preparing for instructor certification which feels long over due. I know there are some significant gaps in my knowledge of the horse (the kind of information that will catch you up on a test) that will require some extra time spent with my nose in a book. I can't say as I am looking forward to getting back in the habit of studying, but at least I am fascinated by the subject:)
Right now I am looking at getting my certification in biomechanics. Lots of detail about posture and position and how small things impact our, and therefore our horse's, balance. I think this will fit well with my new found understanding of the spirit of the horse. Think of the powerful combination and possibility of the deep spiritual bond between horse and rider grounded in the physical reality of how our bodies impact each other. I am excited about it!
My next post will be about Matilda, I have stories to tell. I just wanted to take a moment and share some things from me, my plans and my joys of the season. I have an amazing job with fabulous friends, an amazing husband and an amazing faith! It's going to be a great year!
