But that's exactly what it felt like today, work, right from the beginning.
On Friday I was amazed that Matilda would leave her hay to come and see what I was up to every time I entered the paddock. Not so today. She completely blew me off and was determined to eat every blessed scrap of hay before coming to check things out.
Unfortunately, with the methods I am using and place that we are working, if Matilda doesn't want to work, there is not a thing I can do about it. I waited. I paced. I sat. I took pictures of my equipment so that you could see my target stick, little white pail and clicker. I thought it would help you visualize whatever you read about here. I probably waited a little too long, but finally got fed up and left. I had other horses to spend time with and could come back to Matilda later.
When I came back, about an hour later, she came right up to me. (Gee thanks, your majesty. Sheesh!) The good thing is that she walked up and touched the target so I knew she hadn't forgotten everything over the weekend. My goals for today were to see how she would do walking with me (aka following the target in motion) and to introduce Matilda to the word "touch".
It was clear that following the target was not a problem today. After a little review, she was easily able to track it and walk along side of me. In fact, I had to really move along to keep ahead of her.
Learning the word "touch" was another matter, for both of us. I suspected that it would not be easy for her to understand that the strange sounds I make actually have meaning, but I thought she would pick it up faster. (I keep saying that. At some point you would think that I might adjust my expectations.) Here again, I think the big part of the problem was that my cues were a little muddy. She was all over the target, the stick and my hands. Touching everything, moving the stick up and down with her nose. I was very careful to only give her the reward when she touched the target after I said the word "touch". I just saw no progress in her understanding. The little light bulb was not going on for her.
We took a break. This was our first break together with no food. Remember, she had already eaten all of her hay. We really didn't know what to do with each other. Interesting. I ended up walking and was pleasantly surprised to find her walking with me in a fairly polite manner. A couple of times she would turn right and, just to see what she would do, I turned left. She watched me walk away and then came after me! Nice. I thought we must be bonding nicely until I tried to touch her face. She apparently doesn't like that. Matilda attempted to bite at me almost every time I moved a hand toward her face. Stroking her back or neck was not much easier. In her defense, we have spent a lot of time working on her moving away from me. I am aware of that fact but it is so difficult, when you want to be kind and someone won't let you be kind to them. This served as a good reminder of just how much work is ahead of me, if we are to realize the vision that I have for Matilda. I made a mental not for the future "work on touching face."
We ended the break by playing a little bit of hide and seek. I hid behind a tree and she came and found me. I believe she thought I had lost my mind a bit at that point. Maybe I had.
It's a funny thing, but now that Matilda and I are spending our breaks together, our second session is much more focused. At least that's how it seems after two tries... that's not a lot, I'll reassess that statement later.
In any event, we started up with the same exercise and, watching her work the target, I realized there was a lot of movement and chaos going on. She never stopped moving her mouth over the target and target stick. She moved her head back and forth touching the target then checking my clicker hand (it's nice to see that she knows where it is and understands enough to listen for it) and occasionally trying to overturn my pail. I was injecting the word "touch" into all this chaos.
A revelation: she's probably not even hearing me. A change in tactics: I went back to standing my ground and waiting. I feel like I do a lot of waiting for sweet Matilda. She stopped biting at the target eventually and went to the old standby: backing up a couple of steps. When she stopped moving, I said very slowly and clearly, "Matilda.... touch." It took a little time, she had to try a few things first, but she took a step forward and touched the target. Click/treat. We did this a few times and I felt that we were right on the cusp of a breakthrough when I ran out of carrots. I could have cried.
It was apparent that Matilda had been a little frustrated herself this afternoon and, with all that is at stake, I couldn't push any further. To push on would risk frustrating her further by asking her to give me behavior that I could not reward nor affirm. She made it clear earlier that contact (scratching, petting, etc.) from me is not enough of a reward for her at this point.... Our day is over. BLAST!
People tell me I have a tendency to anthropomorphize my animals, I don't care. I know that SHE knew she almost had it. When I threw the bucket and target over the rail and walked away, Matilda just stood there, not trying to get the bucket, not following me. She just stood there and watched me walk away. I could feel her saying, "But I almost had it." It's a little devastating to leave her at this moment.
BUT I must think of the positives, right? I have a very good launching point to teach her how to walk with me politely, I just have to affirm what she is already doing now, and I know where to pick up next time. My own teaching problems have been worked through yet again to give me clarity as to the next steps. I feel confident that she will have a good understanding of one word by the end of our next meeting... all is well.
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