Remember when

Grief is a strange thing. Deeply personal but meant to be shared. I have shared with students and those that loved her this passed week. We have shared stories and laughter and some tears over the loss of Matilda.

But now I find myself here. I wanted to make a list. A list of moments shared and lessons learned... just so I don't forget. Quotes are Miss Kim paraphrases. And so:

Trails. With students and alone. Alone we cantered (don't do that alone) practicing simple changes along the winding trail.

After she was untacked and groomed, we used to stop at my truck and share a pear.

That lesson. The one that wasn't feeling right so Kim and I sat in the sand while you snurfled us and slept.

Standing with her in her stall, hoping she wouldn't lose patience as I worked half a bottle of cowboy magic into her tail... but I always thought she moved better when it had that glossy flick.

BIRTHDAY RIDE!!!!

Riding around, using a pitchfork handle as my practice garrocha pole. Trotting the weaving poles and doing target practice.

Lateral.Work. endless...

Chasing cats.

"If I have to call the fire department to get that horse out of the manure pile!!!" 

Followed quickly by

"No, YOU have to be the electric fence"

Watching your head pop out of the window when I gave the signal, telling you I was there to give you a treat.

"Don't just rush to get through the hard stuff. It's a training opportunity."

Bareback... never thought that would be possible. Or comfortable.

When things fall apart and are in chaos, take a breath, relax your joints and go with the motion. Calm will find you. 

Crying, laughing, singing, telling you my secrets.

That first day I worked up the courage to call Walter Bennett Farris, we were on the trail with no signal. When I made the call to my soulmate, my left hand held my phone and your lead rope was in my right. You were there for that too.

Letting go in my heart of what was never mine. You belonged to Bramblewood. First and always. People loved you. People saw you without meeting you and it was amazing. I couldn't be jealous of time you had with others so it became a joy

.

See above.

And again.

I wish you well on your next adventure, my girl. Thank you for changing me. Thank you for giving me your strength, for being stable, solid and grounded. For teaching me so dang much. I think we could have done anything, if only the breeze hadn't felt so good, the grass looked so green and the sky blue. 

I will miss my friend.