A Small Moment

You know that feeling you get when you have an idea (or a picture in your head) that is not logical, makes you feel a little silly really. You set it aside but it comes back. Then it becomes something you should do. Sometimes something you must do. I had one. I carried through on the idea and I want to remember because it was silly, strange and important.

I spent some time grooming Hero, not too much, just knocking the worst of the dried mud and dust off. We took a walk together into the field where the longer grass is allowed to grow. We walked over the hill to the place where Matilda and Teo are buried.

Doing all this self-work, connection-work, relationship-work.... re-reading my blog and having my eyes opened to how much we did and how much I have forgotten... I realized I had things to say. To all of them.

And so Hero and I went to see our friends. I think that when I first started working with Hero, he was part of a team. Now, Odin went back to a previous owner... Teo and (of course) the incomparable Matilda have moved on. I love all the horses  at Bramblewood but a certain group that I felt attached to are gone. Except for Hero. So he came with me to talk to the pinnacles of the group. Matilda and Teo.

I sat in the long grass and let Hero graze behind me. As these things go, the moment I sat I forgot everything I planned to say but I fumbled through the heart of it. 

As I spoke to our friends, I could hear Hero munching behind me. I could feel him moving away from us through the pull of the lead rope as he went for the most delectable grass which was, as always seems to be the case, 2 inches further away than his lead rope would reach.

I turned my attention to Hero, to include him in the conversation and drop some thoughts into his heart. After a short bit, I noticed that he was inching closer. Ultimately, as I talked to him as an equal, his nose was close to my knee and he was on top of me. Always munching. 

I think and talk about Hero being distant, disconnected, aloof but here he is coming close and leaning into my words. I wonder if I underestimate him.

I don't know what happened there. I don't understand it. But that happened. Fact. I want to remember.