Matilda ran off with me again today. This time, for the first time in probably three to five years, my brain and body did not shut down until I fell off. I was able to do all the things I wanted to do and stay in the saddle as I brought her down to a canter and then to a trot.
I have a basic understanding of why this is happening and I know the people I want to talk to about the details of that why and how to fix it. That will be for another post.
I've tried to keep this blog all about Matilda; tried not to bring too much of myself into it. Tonight I am enjoying this moment for myself. I was very emotional afterwards. It's hard to explain without going into the details of what was going on three(?) years ago. I may have explained it before, I don't know. I left a lot of angst and trauma in the ring today. I gained some respect for myself, in my own eyes, that I didn't realize was missing. Respect for myself as a rider, teacher and potential trainer.
I think it's time for the focus of this blog to shift. Don't worry, Matilda will still be at the center and heart of it. If you've known me for the past year, then you know that it's all about Matilda.
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