Reading is bad. Learning is bad... Well, it can be, anyway. I've been reading and learning so much about horse behavior and the horse/human relationship this past month. It's been amazing but sometimes when you learn lots of knew cool stuff, you get excited and want to use it all at once or it makes you feel like everything you've been doing has been somehow wrong.
Last month, I had some really great rides with longer periods of trot including more schooling figures, ie circles and figure eights. But then I threw out most of what I had been doing a couple of weeks ago and tried to do something else. Frustration ensued on both sides. I had slipped into a mind set of trying to force her to do what I wanted, using traditional pressure and release - pressure telling her what I want her to do and release being the only reward for doing it.
I realized this week that Matilda has expectations of me and of how things are going to go between us. She expects to have a certain amount of freedom of movement and to be able to make choices and figure things out and be lavishly rewarded for doing so. I have expectations of Matilda and how quickly she can learn. I took a lot of this away and, while I may have been able to muscle through doing things in a different way (and I do mean muscle), it wasn't achieving one of my primary goals for Matilda. Namely creating in her a willing partner.
This week I went back to what we do. I loaded up my little carrot pail and went through all that we know and she did really well with our ground work, including lunging. Still no breakaways. I don't think she's really trying anymore. Under saddle work was not so good. She was all bendy. I couldn't get her to go in a straight line and she was dragging me all over the place. Frustration. I'd find myself practically scraping against the rail one minute then in the middle of the ring the next. She was cutting corners and going in tiny circles - that was at the walk. What little trotting we accomplished was no better, with the addition of random stops without warning. I arrived home from the barn complaining about the tension and soreness from elbow to elbow, across the backs of my arms and between my shoulders, from trying to steer my beastie.
Today was shaping up to be the same. There were people in the ring, as had been the case all week, which makes me nervous. I worry that Matilda will take off, I won't be able to control her and we will go careening into small children. (Notice the words: nervous, worry, tension?) She was still bendy, but not quite as bad as she had been. I started to think about the fact that, in my fear for others, I had really been holding onto those reins, holding her head up and trying to keep her in frame, in position, with my hands. No freedom of movement. Restricting her choices. Click! for me, not her. As we picked up the trot, I started to let the reins slide through my fingers with great conscious effort. Almost as soon as the reins loosened, Matilda's head dropped and she straightened out. With my hands out of the way, my legs were able to do their job and she listened to them beautifully. We trotted through straight lines, circles and changes of direction. No sudden stops this time.
We finished up with our first few steps of requested canter together. That was a little crazy but very, very cool.
So what has Matilda been trying to teach me for the last few weeks?
Relax and trust the work we've been doing.
Relax and trust the relationship we've been building.
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