The Matilda Project

Following Up on the Fall

2012-02-08T14:42:00.002-05:00

After my fall last Friday, I had a weekend to reflect and think and try to suppress the paranoia that wanted to build up. I committed myself to riding every day possible this week, even if I didn't want to. (I still ended up riding only 2 out of 4 days - but I bought some new boots!)

Tuesday, I did some work in the paddock, bringing out the old target stick and clicker. I brought her up and rode for 20-30 minutes. Light walk and trot with lots of clicks for downward transitions.

Wednesday I did another 5-10 minutes of ground work, using the target stick and walking together, before tacking up and getting on. I rode for about 40 minutes and we did walk, trot and canter then trotted over a cross-rail twice. Matilda did beautifully. She felt good and I really enjoyed the ride. Still lots of click and reward for downward transitions and some for random obediences.

I made an effort to spend more time with Matilda around our rides. I enjoyed a game of "peek-a-boo"/"hide and seek" with her - myself crouching below her stall windows and calling to her until she found me. Fun.

The fall, so dramatic last week, is past and out of my head. I got to sit and watch Matilda in a lesson yesterday. She looked good and relaxed with a happy rider. Now I'm just looking forward to another fun week with her.

First Fall

2012-02-05T09:10:00.004-05:00

Well, hardly my first fall. I guess I should call this, "First Fall Off Matilda".

It's been an interesting couple of weeks since my last post about the brilliance of Matilda. I think it was the day after that post that she walked away from me into the giant, composting manure pile. She hasn't done that in almost a year. (see: "Matilda's Day Out" 2/25/11).

A day or two after that she tried to walk away while I was mounting her. Then tried to walk away while I was dismounting her. I lost my temper that day and whacked her on the rear as my feet touched the ground. Not cool, although she looked beautiful cantering across the ring and in circles all tacked up like that, sans rider. I was watching her, standing next to the mounting block. Sigh.

That was the day I realized that she and I were not enjoying our time together. I had slipped into full work mode and as I was riding her, after spending 20 minutes re-teaching her how to stand still while I got on, I took a moment to breathe and really noticed her. I don't know how to describe it, except to say everything felt flat. No buoyancy, no joy. There was no desire in me to cry out or laugh as we cantered down the straightaway and no lightness in her big ole trot step. It was what it was, namely all work and no play.

A brief confab with Rachel resulted in my decision to take some time off of riding Matilda.

Which brings us to this past Friday. Knowing she hadn't been ridden in a week and that she would normally be used in two lessons on Saturday, I had to get on her Friday and make sure things were ok. I was looking forward to it. I had taken more than a week off before and found no changes in her so I wasn't worried at all about riding. All her quirks showed up on the ground. Right?

She was a little stiff and I found her shoulders a little harder to contain than normal but after a week off, nothing unexpected. I asked for a canter transition and she picked it up with a head toss. No good. We tried again, another head toss. Third time's the charm so I asked her to pick up the canter again. I don't know what happened but she took off. Honestly, I wasn't sure she had that kind of speed in her and I was completely unprepared. I'm not sure it would have helped if I had been.

I lost a stirrup in the first sharp turn to avoid going over the jump and tipped onto her neck, losing the reins in the second sharp turn. I remember looking at the ground and the rail that she was racing along, as my foot made a half-hearted attempt to find a stirrup, and heard myself say out loud, in an oddly calm and typically sarcastic voice, "Well this just isn't gonna' work." What an odd thing to say.

At this point I began letting myself slide off her back, trying as much as possible at this pace, to land between her and the fence, REALLY not wanting to land on one nor under the other.

I hit hard and heard a nice CRACK! as the back of my helmet hit the ground. The immediate thought that went through my mind? 'I get to go to The Farmhouse in Landrum and get a new helmet! Maybe lunch at The Hare and Hound!' So odd what goes through your mind. And all of this probably unfolded in under a minute.

Adrenaline was pumping but at the same time I felt oddly calm. Two years ago, after a fall like this, I would have had to have been hand walked (someone holding the lunge line or lead rope... a pony ride)around the ring. You might have been lucky to get me around once or twice and that just because someone would have made me and so that I could say "Yes" when people asked if I got back on.

Boy have I come a long way in the last two years.

I got Matilda from the people who stopped her running (Kim and Rachel I think, that part is lost in the rush) dumped my busted helmet and borrowed one from one of our borders and friends, sweet Lindsey. I walked and halted beside Matilda for a few minutes, just trying to get a handle on her energy. She was quiet. Back up I went. No one walking beside me, no one holding on. We walked and stopped some more but this time with me in the saddle. Still no weirdness. We picked up the trot and trotted and walked in circles and little figure eights. I finished by trotting a figure eight with three steps of canter in both directions. After the fall we rode for 20-30 minutes.

Boy have I come a long way in the last year. (Quasi-repetition intentional. I do not have a concussion ;)

The bad news is that in the critical moment of running off, my mind still goes blank and my body still locks up, giving me zero chance of recovering control from a position actually up on the horse. I think we can all agree that would be a good thing.

The good news is that I have high hopes that my quick recovery of nerves and occasional lucid moments as the drama unfolded means that next time I might be able to hold it together even better. My brain knows what to do, it just has to continue functioning in that moment.

Tomorrow I am back at the barn and am actually looking forward to working with and riding Matilda. I have a sort of loose plan for the day and will most likely spend some time doing some stretching and ground work before I hop on. Work will be light: walk and trot. I'm going to try to spend the next few weeks paying attention to Matilda, trying to listen to her body language and movement. Making sure, as best I can, that nothing weird is going on with her and trying to re-establish some sort of connection.

I will also be getting myself back into Yoga regularly. Since the holidays I have been super lazy about it. I need to spend the time making sure that my mind is quiet (how can I listen to what she may be trying to tell me if my mind is full of noise?) and my body is as soft, supple and balanced as I want Matilda's to be. On Friday, I rode for 15 minutes before I realized my stirrups were uneven. Seriously?!

Lastly, I will be paying attention to the portents all around me. Looking back to Friday, they were all over the place, ala Final Destination. Everything from talking with Rachel about needing to embrace and not fear falling to actually falling when my heel caught in a gate I was trying to crawl through to knocking my water bottle off a counter and hearing it crack as the top broke. Yes, the same crack I heard when my helmet hit the ground... only the second was louder. If only I had been paying attention.

OK, that last one is sort of silly but I do think I need to pay more attention to what is going on around me. I started to take Matilda for granted and paid for it. She has given me some brilliantly striking reminders of who and what she is, I need to remember and respect that.

We rarely get to know why a run off or kick or buck happens. I spend a lot of time analyzing, trying to figure out the whys and wherefores of it all but the simple truth is stuff happens, for whatever reason. In a perfect world there would be no run offs and no falls but in our world the only way to avoid falling off a horse is not to ride at all. That ain't gonna' happen.

P.S. I got my new helmet today and am ready to go! I'll try to let you know what happens...

A New Year and A New World for Matilda

2012-01-18T09:58:00.004-05:00

Just over one year ago, I started working with Matilda. My original goal was to work on her ground manners until she was considered "manageable" and "lunge-able"; to work her on the lunge until she was deemed ready to ride.... ready for someone else to ride, that is. I wasn't going to do it.

Oh, how times and plans changed. And changed. And changed again. That's ok, I'm allowed to change my plans since I have never done this before:/ Since my last post in October, plans changed again and things have progressed at an exponential rate. The whole "therapy horse" and learning to respond to voice commands idea is on the shelf, not gone - never gone. The barn needs school horses now and may need therapy horses someday. "Need now" won and I began to think seriously and somewhat aggressively about what needed to happen before we put Matilda into the lesson program. The lunge line is gone. Some time ago I decided it was simply unnecessary. The clicker and reward are all but gone, brought out only when there is a specific problem that needs to be worked on.

So what's been happening instead? Here's a summary:

On October 21, I took a first riding lesson on Matilda. It was the first time that we had to accomplish tasks given to us by an outsider, my instructor, boss and Matilda's owner, Kim. When I began this, I never would have imagined myself on Matilda in a lesson, much less working on leg yields, trot poles and canter transitions (that would be a mere 3 weeks after our first canter steps together. About 3 months or 24 rides after the first time I got on her). I was full of performance anxiety before the lesson, so afraid that we would tense up and Kim would not be able to see all that I had been able to do on Matilda. That was not the case. Matilda performed brilliantly and it made my novice trainer's heart soar to hear her described as "supple", "soft" and "relaxed" by her owner and my boss.

Matilda test one-check!

At some point in November (I think, I didn't make note of the date) I asked Rachel (the other instructor/trainer) to get on Matilda and try her out. She rode walk/trot/canter and then we put her on the lunge line to simulate a beginner lesson. Rachel tried to emulate all of the things that she's seen novice rider's do to a horse; things that can elicit a poor response from said horse. (It was worth doing just to watch Rachel flop around like that!) Matilda absorbed them all without issue. If things got too out of whack, she stopped or slowed.

Matilda test two-check!

On December 10, I taught one of Kim's advanced students on Matilda.

Matilda test three-check! Passed with flying colors. In fact, this student is continuing to use Matilda in her regular lessons.

In the midst of these tests, I was riding Matilda 2-4 days a week. Trying to ride for about an hour (the length of most lessons) and building the duration of our trotting to make sure her stamina was decent. Of course, we threw in some canter as well. As part of her training and testing, I walked and/or trotted past squeaky truck breaks, ATVs, dogs, goats and horses being turned out or brought in; we also raced squirrels down the side of the arena. As hard as I tried, she spooked at nothing. Almost every ride I had was a good, working ride. I have been so impressed and elated with her as a riding partner throughout the last few months. Don't want you to think everything's been perfect (actually, I do)...

It has not been smooth sailing all the way through. There was the day that Matilda decided to play statue. It didn't matter what I did, I could not get her to move one little bit. She may have even been holding her breath. I must have looked hilarious that day, lifting my legs as high as I could and bringing them down into her side while she stood there - I'm pretty sure she was yawning when she wasn't holding her breath. That was the day I re-introduced Matilda to the dressage whip. I was nervous about that one, afraid I would tap her with it and she would take off or jump out of the ring. I started by tapping her lightly on the rump - I don't think her ears moved on that one. After some trial, I found that three (not one, but three) good cracks on the rump got her moving. Barely. And I was afraid she would take off. Sheesh!

Then there was the day that I was un-tacking and right before I got the halter on, while the reins were still around her neck, she decided to walk away. I didn't want my bridle to be broken (Smart, huh?) so I sort of stumbled along behind her as she walked into a stall, pinned me against a wall and started to eat. (If this happens to anyone else, just let go of the bridle, by the way). A couple of days later she did it again, only this time she did have the halter on and was in the cross ties. She just decided to walk away. She lifted her head, broke both the cross ties, turned around and walked away. It's quite shocking when she does this, mainly because I go into a panic and she is so d-n calm about it. Her calmness makes me mad.

I've found that the best thing to do in these situations is stop her almost before she starts, right at that moment where her mind is made up to go (which means I actually have to pay attention and be proactive, yuck), or let her go. If you try to hang on or throw a rope around her neck, she just goes faster. If I miss the chance to stop her, I just have to wait until she stops (usually to eat), gather the reins or put on the halter and then she just comes with me. Like nothing happened. We're still working on this. When she is in the cross ties, she is not allowed to move a muscle... Or I just tack her up in a stall when I'm lazy about it. :D

And so, after 2+ years in pasture, 7 months of relationship building ground work and 5 months under saddle, Matilda is a working member of the barn and starting to earn her keep. She has 3 riders, besides myself, who use her in regular lessons ranging in skill level from novice to advanced. Two of these lessons are back to back and she is able to function and move well for two hours straight, even through meal time.

Matilda and I continue to move through our walk, trot, canter work. We had a lesson with Kim yesterday and our focus will be on transitions, esp. the downward transitions. With all that draft in her and that big head, she does tend keep her weight on her front legs, pulling her rear end behind her. We will be working on helping her shift her center back so that the energy and drive comes from the back to the front with more consistency. You know, like a well-balanced horse should.

Here's a video of me on Matilda waaaay back in November. This is a little rough as we had finished a long ride and were half way through our cool down before someone asked to record. I had a video of her in a lesson that I wanted to post, but broke my phone before I pulled the video off. Sigh. I'll try to get more....

http://youtu.be/0iTDD9ov6gU

To a certain extent, my job with Matilda is done. She is no longer left in the pasture. Kids don't look out, point and say, "Who's that? Does anyone ever ride her?" She is well known, earning her keep and, most importantly, well loved. Everyone who has been on her has thoroughly enjoyed riding her. Everyone (and I have asked) has felt safe and in control on her - willing to push and see how much they can do the very first time they are on her.

Now my ever-evolving job is to fine tune and see how much she is capable of doing. To learn as much as I can from her while I am teaching her. She makes me spend a lot of time thinking about how and why things are supposed to work the way they do: analyzing my aids and owning each one fully so that I can be more consistent for her. Analyzing the way her body works and what she needs from me so that she can achieve the shape and movement that I want and that others will be asking for someday. Someday soon, probably.

What I've Learned From Matilda

2011-10-02T03:03:00.002-04:00

Reading is bad. Learning is bad... Well, it can be, anyway. I've been reading and learning so much about horse behavior and the horse/human relationship this past month. It's been amazing but sometimes when you learn lots of knew cool stuff, you get excited and want to use it all at once or it makes you feel like everything you've been doing has been somehow wrong.

Last month, I had some really great rides with longer periods of trot including more schooling figures, ie circles and figure eights. But then I threw out most of what I had been doing a couple of weeks ago and tried to do something else. Frustration ensued on both sides. I had slipped into a mind set of trying to force her to do what I wanted, using traditional pressure and release - pressure telling her what I want her to do and release being the only reward for doing it.

I realized this week that Matilda has expectations of me and of how things are going to go between us. She expects to have a certain amount of freedom of movement and to be able to make choices and figure things out and be lavishly rewarded for doing so. I have expectations of Matilda and how quickly she can learn. I took a lot of this away and, while I may have been able to muscle through doing things in a different way (and I do mean muscle), it wasn't achieving one of my primary goals for Matilda. Namely creating in her a willing partner.

This week I went back to what we do. I loaded up my little carrot pail and went through all that we know and she did really well with our ground work, including lunging. Still no breakaways. I don't think she's really trying anymore. Under saddle work was not so good. She was all bendy. I couldn't get her to go in a straight line and she was dragging me all over the place. Frustration. I'd find myself practically scraping against the rail one minute then in the middle of the ring the next. She was cutting corners and going in tiny circles - that was at the walk. What little trotting we accomplished was no better, with the addition of random stops without warning. I arrived home from the barn complaining about the tension and soreness from elbow to elbow, across the backs of my arms and between my shoulders, from trying to steer my beastie.

Today was shaping up to be the same. There were people in the ring, as had been the case all week, which makes me nervous. I worry that Matilda will take off, I won't be able to control her and we will go careening into small children. (Notice the words: nervous, worry, tension?) She was still bendy, but not quite as bad as she had been. I started to think about the fact that, in my fear for others, I had really been holding onto those reins, holding her head up and trying to keep her in frame, in position, with my hands. No freedom of movement. Restricting her choices. Click! for me, not her. As we picked up the trot, I started to let the reins slide through my fingers with great conscious effort. Almost as soon as the reins loosened, Matilda's head dropped and she straightened out. With my hands out of the way, my legs were able to do their job and she listened to them beautifully. We trotted through straight lines, circles and changes of direction. No sudden stops this time.

We finished up with our first few steps of requested canter together. That was a little crazy but very, very cool.

So what has Matilda been trying to teach me for the last few weeks?
Relax and trust the work we've been doing.
Relax and trust the relationship we've been building.

Who are we? We're the ones trotting circles around you!

2011-08-29T20:53:00.004-04:00

It was a weird and wonderful week last week. Heat was on the rise and I spent most of the week not wanting to do anything. Sort of staring at the sky. I managed some work in the cross ties and some ground work (ups and overs) on Tuesday and Thursday but it was Friday that was total gold.

Since I hadn't worked with her but 45 minutes all week, I went in on Friday planning to touch lightly on everything. A little bit in cross ties, ground work, on the longe line and under saddle. She was very quiet in the cross ties (as she usually is while tacking up) and I am happy to say that when I tap on her shoulder or hip followed by her fetlock (ankle) she lifts her foot on her own so that I can slip my hand underneath and clean her hooves. Not perfectly, mind you, she pulls a little with her right rear foot and once or twice she has refused. It is becoming more consistent each time we do it.

When we worked the ground work, she was very attentive. I let her eat grass a couple of weeks ago and since then she has been a little more eager to pull when walking with me, my mistake. Once I brought her to the center of the ring, however, and started to ask for specific behaviors she appeared to be working hard at figuring out my cues and giving me the requested actions. Although nothing is perfect and she is still easily distracted by cars pulling into the parking lot and people coming down the hill, you can tell when she is trying to pay attention and respond appropriately.

In my effort to keep things light and simple, I was just going to ask her for walks and whoas on the longe line. Since I hadn't asked her to burn any energy all week I didn't want to push my luck by actually asking her to move faster than a walk. Her walk was fast, she was definitely ready and willing to move, but she never broke into a trot on her own and ultimately I did ask for a few steps of trot on the right rein. She's still not stopping upon first request, she goes anywhere from two steps to two circles around me while I say "whoa" over and over. She responds more quickly over the course of each session and I have the distinct impression that ifI were more consistent in my efforts, she would have it. We'll get it. It's just taking us longer, my fault I know.

Can you tell I'm rushing to get to the under saddle work? I am.

My primary goal is still teaching Matilda the vocal commands - right now focusing on "walk on" and "whoa". The same readiness to move that I saw on the lunge line worked in my favor as we worked under saddle. We made real progress with "walk on". Many, many times on Friday, I sat limp in the saddle, said "walk on" and she moved forward. She moved more definitively than the last time we tried it, too... almost with purpose, I would say. Of course, with that willingness to move she also moved forward without me asking and it took me 3-4 tries before I could mount her without her trying to walk away, whatever....

And, of course, she doesn't stop on vocal command alone. I have to use the rein aids. As with everything else in this experience, I probably need to think through this a little more specifically and be a little more methodical with how we work. I need to spend one day just mounting over and over. One day just clicking for "walk on" and then another for "whoa", working through each command separately instead of squishing them all in one day. You know, boring but necessary work-type stuff... maybe next week:)

After we had done walk ons and whoas, it was time to have some fun. I was having another bold and sassy day, the ring was empty and I was anxious to do something. Last time we tried the trot (a rising/posting trot, I should say), we did a few steps on and a few steps off. Mostly straight lines, maybe one corner. Friday was to be the same. We walked around the ring and as we came out of the corner and into the straightaway I asked for the trot (with both vocal and leg aids, as before). As we came down the straight we started to pass a jump and I decided to see if we could circle it - how would she do as I asked for some bend with rein and leg aids, but no bit in her mouth. She circled it beautifully and we finished back on the rail and dropped into an easy walk before we got to the next corner.

We changed direction and I asked for another trot in the same place. She picked up an easy trot, with less prompting than before (as with "whoa", the more often you ask the more responsive and ready she gets), and we trotted all the way down the straightaway at a nicely paced even trot. It was going so nicely that I decided to keep going. I didn't go all the way into the corner, I didn't want to risk making a last minute mistake and getting stuck, but asked for her to start turning about 4 feet before we got there. Piece of cake, so we kept going. We went around the ring twice at that nice, easy pace. Every once in a while, she would start to slow down and I would add a little leg or make a little kissing sound and she would immediately pick back up into our easy going trot.

At some point, the three year old in me realized that no one was seeing this, so I yelled across her head and the ring into the barn, "HEY YOU GUYS ARE MISSING THIS!!!" Even my ill-timed bellowing couldn't phase her and we were able to complete a couple more turns around the ring, taking one brake to trot a small circle around a jump while people watched. As we came trotting towards the gate and the barn (you horse people know what a draw those things can be), I squeezed with my hands and said "walk" - she immediately dropped into the walk and stopped. I rode her for a nice cool down and back to the barn for our un-tacking madness. (Although she is also getting much better at standing still for that process too)

This does no justice to the feeling I had in this experience. It was relaxing. Free. Almost effortless. And then we just kept going....

I was giddy but left wondering what was so exceptional about this. I mean, Matilda is not green. She was taught to walk, trot, canter, jump, proper flexion and so forth. So why is this such a big deal? I had to look back to my first experiences with Matilda-two or three years ago, long before I started this project. My first ride with Matilda, she ran off with me constantly. The second, I don't remember what she was doing, I remember that I was frustrated to the point of tears. The third was the same as the second, but I had a sense of humor about it. This past Friday was so easy, what's the difference?

I mean think about it - I have only been on Matilda 3-6 times. There hasn't been any aggressive saddle work. Not only that, but over the last 2 years, the vast majority of my work with horses has been ground work. Even so, am I a better rider than I was 2 years ago? Absolutely. Is Matilda a more willing partner? Most definitely.

Of those 2 years of ground work, 8 months (less all those days and weeks that I said to myself, "I don't want to this" and therefore didn't) has been with Matilda, in part if not in entirety. We have spent time together building a foundation of trust and reward. I have been attempting to shape her into a horse that understands that there are benefits to doing the things I ask her to do and I think, I hope, that work is what is paying off now. We let her be her and me be me and met each other each day with a plan that we had to be willing to leave behind. I have lost my temper, she has refused to work but there was no severe punishment involved (I don't think-although I have not always behaved well), I tried to just walk away from those days or do as little as possible. On the days when we were both present and willing the rewards were frequent and good. She knows what to expect from me and a little of what I expect of her. Eight months of relationship building and we did something, with very little effort, that I would not have dreamed of being able to do with her two years ago. Something I didn't dare dream about eight months ago.

Riding without an agenda. Horsemanship without a timeline. Building a relationship as it comes to you and letting it unfold. The waiting and patience is so hard but if you can do it, it makes everything that comes after so much easier.

None of this is new but sometimes experience makes old thoughts and ideas become new wisdom.

Make no mistake, I don't pretend that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out. Even writing this makes me feel nervous. Like I sound cocky. People pay for cockiness. I am well aware of who I am dealing with and that there are (attempted?) break aways coming down the road and who knows what else. I may be screaming about the she-beast tomorrow.

But Friday was gold. We were together, for awhile, in every way.

Matilda Under Saddle

2011-08-21T16:56:00.009-04:00

Yes, under saddle:) Although I have griped about the busy barn and full ring, I have been back on Matilda a few times in the last three weeks. Thanks to my dear Kaitlyn, I have lots of pictures from our very best day.... so far.

I have her in the bridle that belonged to my own horse, Bella, but have rigged it to work without a bit. Keeping things pleasant, you know, and nicer for taking carrots.

Ah, carrots. It is harder than anticipated to get carrots from the saddle to Matilda's mouth. The more we do it the better our coordination gets but the first couple of days there was a lot of maneuvering to pick up dropped carrots and a lot of thumb and finger biting. Unintentional.... I think.... I hope.

On Thursday, the 11th, our coordination was so poor that it was impossible to actually work on any goals. Trying to get her to "walk on" requires a certain rhythm of words and movement that cannot be achieved when one has to constantly stop to rub one's fingers or pause to back the horse while pointing to the ground and saying, "It's your fault, you dropped it.... Can't you see, it's right there!! Just put your head down!!" She has gotten better at retrieving the dropped carrots, I am proud to state.... any achievement, no matter how small, right?

I was also feeling bold and sassy that Thursday, so without being able to work on our actual goals, we just played and tried stuff out. Using plain old leg and rein adds (words too) we walked and stopped a lot, attempting to reward for good behavior along the way.

She was so quiet and easy while I was up there that I couldn't stand it and asked her to trot! She did beautifully. I used the same three step process, along with light leg aids, asking first, "Matilda, are you ready?" Then, "Matilda, Trot!" and lastly "Up, Up!" She came up to the trot at the exact same point that she would have, had I asked on the longe line. We only trotted a few steps before I squeezed back with the reins and asked her to "walk"; she fell into the walk immediately, to my tremendous joy and pleasure. We did that several times around the ring, alternating between walking and stopping or walking, trotting, walking and stopping, as I happily clicked and dropped carrots all over the ring.

It popped into my head to see if some of the ground work was translating (this was before I started working with the whip for over) so we went to the center of the ring and stopped. I pressed my left leg into her side and said "over". It was amazing to feel that big body shift under me as she moved laterally, away from my leg. I hollered out, "Kim! Kim! Watch me!!" like a three year old doing penny drops and repeated the movement. She confirmed that what I thought was happening actually was happening. Matilda was moving her whole body sideways, stepping out and crossing her front then her hind legs under her. Very cool. Wonderful day. We finished it out by giving Kaitlyn a "pony ride" on Matilda, with me leading them around the ring, as a thank you for all the pictures and just because we could:)

This past week, I was up on Matilda one more time. This time we were able to work on the voice commands. It will be a slow process, but I know she can get it. I started it the same way that I did on the ground, saying "walk on" as I squeezed with my legs and clicking when she took a step. Unlike when I was on the ground, when I said "walk on" without squeezing, she did not move right away. She would eventually, but I had to sit on her awhile and wait it out. The walk is much slower and lazier if it starts from just a verbal command too. That may just be because she is unsure and I don't really mind a slow, lazy walk at this point.

We also spent some time on mounting and dismounting. The first time I got on her, she stood rock still, but in later days she was moving forward as I tried to mount. At the end of our session this past week, I got off and on her three times before she stood still while I mounted. When she did, I clicked, rewarded and called it quits. I didn't ask for a repeat, maybe I should have, but why press your luck? There's always next week.

Matilda on the Lunge Line

2011-08-21T16:13:00.004-04:00

I'm not really sure how much there is to say about our longe work of late. There have been days wherein the barn was so busy, we couldn't carve out a nitch to work on it.

Over the last week, the weather has cooled off and she has been more difficult to manage. She has been more apt to rush or try to break out, but thus far I have been able to hold on to her and bring her down. I have also been asking her to walk longer without reward which I suspect precipitates some of the break away moments.

One day, a couple of weeks ago, she broke out into a full on canter, the first one I've seen in quite a while. I was very proud of myself for hanging on through a full circle around me and then bringing her in and down. She didn't stop moving until she was about 3 feet away from me, but she did stop. I don't reward her for stopping at that point. Don't worry.

I spent some time last week really challenging her with the longe whip, swinging it and moving it erratically, while expecting her to either stand still or continue walking. That was an interesting day. There was a lot of dropping the whip as she took off and bringing her in to me to stop her. A real challenge to my physical and her mental strengths. Ultimately she did very well and by the end of the day she was able to maintain a calm(ish) walk as I picked the whip off the ground, swung it over my head and brought the whip tip to the ground quickly.

Why would I do this, you may ask? I want Matilda to be as "bomb proof" as possible. I won't always be the one dealing with her and people are weird. I really don't expect her to be able to keep her cool if someone comes up behind her cracking a whip, but I'd like to know she is capable of trusting me not to touch her harshly with it. If she can trust me, she can trust others. This exercise was asking a lot, I knew that, but I was sort of looking to see where we were.

That's about all I can say. She still walks, trots and whoas at the end of the lunge line. Well, until she doesn't. There have been days that she just wasn't listening. I would get her walking and then ask her to stop and she would walk 3 circles around me before turning towards me and walking all the way into my space as if to say, "Did you say something? Was that good enough?" She still rushes and pulls and the cooler nights have made these moments more frequent than I would like it to be but it has all been manageable. That's vital. I am always able to bring her down somehow. I am always able to get some sort of decent upward and downward transitions out of her. (well, except for that one day, but the food cart went by right as we were getting started...) She is getting fewer food rewards for her work on the longe, although there are plenty, and my arm muscles are getting stronger. 'Nuff said.

Matilda on the Ground

2011-08-21T15:27:00.002-04:00

We had to spend a lot of time working from the ground the last few weeks. Once I had gotten up on Matilda, I wanted to keep getting on her every day and came to the barn with that expectation every day. After a few consecutive days of disappointment and frustration, I sort of gave up the idea and committed myself to just working from the ground until school started again.

We've kept up with the "back" and "up" (for lifting the feet) but I've mostly worked on fine tuning the "over"s. She has gotten really good at moving just her front feet again, when I touch her shoulder, and doing a full body lateral shift when I touch her at the girth. Her hind end has been the problem. She almost always has to step forward, then a tiny step away from me with her front feet before taking a huge step away with her rear feet followed by a step backwards. We went through this dance step many, many times over the last weeks before I finally started giving her some help by holding her head.

I really want her to do this movement all by herself, without me giving any physical help in adjusting her body. For now, however, I have to bend her head a little bit towards me and hold it back while asking her to move the hind legs alone. When I do all that she performs the movement beautifully. The second I give her her head, we go back to the dance step. We'll keep plugging away at it until she understands.

I have also added a dressage (long) whip into the mix. I figure that it will be both impractical and unsafe for me to keep my balance while I ask for her to move her front legs around her rear - or vice versa - by swinging my leg up to her shoulder or all the back to her hip, pressing in, and saying "over". It would be much easier if I could do the same thing with a light tap of the whip, don't you think? The larger, full lateral move can easily be done with pressure from my leg so no worries there.... If it will work in transition to the saddle at all.

So, we have been going through the same exercise from the ground with me standing either in front or beside her, tapping her lightly with the whip and asking for "over". She quickly understood what I was asking for when I tapped her shoulder, tougher with the rear end. She doesn't even like the whip going back there. If I am holding the whip while I move to stand beside her, she cranes her neck around as if to say, "And where do you think you are going with that?" I have to tap lightly with the whip, then press with my finger in order for her to move. She has begun to respond to the taps occasionally, but only just. There's a little ways to go with that one.

I hoped to start on teaching her to "walk on" by voice command only. I had, in my head at least, worked out a system that I thought would work from the saddle, but was not sure I could translate it to the ground. My short time in the saddle made it clear that she either did not understand or did not know to listen for the voice commands. I thought she had been listening at least some of the time during our longe work, but I was evidently sending more signals through body language than I thought.

It came to me an instant, however, and we started to try it. Standing next to Matilda, I would say "walk on" as I walked forward. She of course would walk with me and I would immediately click and reward. We did that 3-5 times, back-to-back in rapid succession. Then, just as quickly, I said "walk on" and didn't move - she did! HA! Click!

We went back and forth, sometimes I would walk with her and others I would stand still, but she always walked forward. We have only gotten a few shuffling steps in a tight circle around me (she'll never go far from that reward) but it has been a start.

On Friday (the 26th) we began working "whoa" the same way. I stopped beside her and said "whoa" as she stopped. After several times, I said "whoa" and kept moving forward very slowly. This proved more difficult for her to grasp, but she showed small signs that the synapses were starting to fire on this one too.

As soon as I gave myself over to a couple weeks of ground work only, I really enjoyed it. One day, we even had the time to work in her paddock like we did in the very beginning, no halters or leads. Absolutely her choice to hang out with me or go off on her own. I felt like she really enjoyed that and I will try to make room for "play days". That being said, she can no longer stay there but must continue working to join the rest of the world. Despite my own failings and confusion, I will continue to try to make it as pleasant as possible for sweet Matilda.

Matilda Around the Barn

2011-08-19T17:57:00.005-04:00

I am planning a series of posts this weekend, to catch you up on the last few weeks. For these posts, I am going to summarize the four focus points of our work rather than trying to provide a blow-by-blow of days worked.

I have tried to have Matilda around the barn more and more over the last few weeks, making sure she spends time in the cross ties being groomed and even giving breaks during our work outs by putting her in a stall or bringing her up to the barn at feeding time so that she can eat in a stall. I don't know that there is any good reason to do some of these things, other than my desire that she be more and more a part of barn life. Getting used to seeing people and being seen by people.

She is very quiet in the stall. No big deal, although she will try to steal your food if you eat in a chair that she can reach. Matilda doesn't mind being stared at or petted by random passers by and it's nice to see people walk by, pet her nose and ask "Is that Matilda?" every once in a while and express an interest in riding her.

She is also quiet in the cross ties... for pre-work grooming. If you remember my last post (and I didn't, I had to go re-read it before starting this one. Sheesh.) you will recall that I complained about Matilda being annoying while I tried to groom her after some work. I attributed this to the feed cart going by. Not so. She is always annoying in the cross ties during the untacking and grooming process before going back out to her paddock.

This makes no sense to me. She should be quieter, by my reasoning, after a little bit of a work out but instead wiggles and moves back and forth. People walk by and ask, "Is Matilda going to break out of the cross ties?" (At this point no one expresses an interest in riding her.) She also punches me in the arm as I walk back and forth in front of her. In fact, one day I spent more time than I wanted walking back and forth close in front of her nose simply clicking when she left me alone. She's a little better about that now.

This tends to be a dangerous time for me. I am apt to lose my temper as I try to go through what should be a relaxing process. I lost my temper a little bit today, jerking at her halter as I tried to keep her still. Shortly after, I stepped back and took a deep, sighing breath as I put my hand on her back. As soon as my hand touched her back she took a deep, sighing breath too. I realized that she was just as frustrated and confused as me. As much as I was gritting my teeth by her not getting it, she was pinning her ears back because she couldn't figure out what I was after. That was enough to calm me down. I hugged her neck for a second and went back to work.

After a lot of trial and error, I found that if I just froze the brush wherever it was when she started moving, waiting until she stopped moving before resuming the brush stroke and clicking while said brush stroke was in progress (sheesh again) - THAT she started to understand. I was, by the end able to brush her face (which she abhors, by the way) and one side of her body while she stood quietly and got a click and reward at the end.

And her feet... I used to pick up each foot and click and reward the moment it was in my hand, immediately releasing it. Now I can pick up a foot and click and reward with every other foot that I clean, her hoof resting fairly gently in my hand for as long as it takes. When tacking up, that is. When untacking, I have to click for each hoof. Clicking while I am actually brushing or picking out the hoof but only if she is not trying to pull it away. (If that isn't a neat trick.... wiggly hoof, hoof pick and clicker in hand, where does that third hand come from??) It's getting better. She really only tries to pull her rear hooves out of my hand and, in all honesty, I haven't spent a whole lot of time on it. I'm usually out of carrots by the time I get to her feet. I am trying to be more conscious of my carrot rations these days.

So, we are hard at it! Who knew a simple brushing would be so much work?!? Next time (tomorrow, I hope) Matilda on the Ground...

Riding Matilda Part 2, My Turn

2011-07-29T16:58:00.006-04:00

I went to the barn with an agenda on Friday. Never a good thing; fortunately I got away with it. I wanted to get on Matilda so badly after seeing Loryn up there the day before. The barn was crowded, as it always is these days. With camp every morning almost all the lessons have to happen after one o'clock and there is rarely, if ever, a time that the ring is empty. If I am lucky, I can find a time when there is only one lesson or one practice ride going on. I know that it's good for us to work with all those distractions but I was admittedly out of sorts on Friday for unknown reasons, feeling hurried and impatient. Wanting time to myself. Snarky...

I try to be as unobtrusive as possible when I work with Matilda, working around lessons and other riders. This wasn't possible on Friday. I had to ask to take over one end of the riding ring, pushing four other riders to share the other side. Like I said, the barn was crowded on Friday.

It was just me and Matilda. We started with some review and I noticed that her "over" was really imprecise. A couple of weeks ago, I put my finger on her shoulder and asked her to "over" and she stepped over with just her front feet. This afternoon the same action got a full body lateral shift with a step back at the end. We did it several times before she even came close to doing it correctly. I was not impressed. We worked on it a little while, going up and down her sides and asking her to step over. I asked just until she gave me something that (if I squinted my eyes and tilted my head to the left and with the sun behind her) looked a little bit like what I wanted. Did I mention I was not impressed? Next time I am at the barn I will most likely spend all of our time reworking those ground commands. As much as I want to work on new stuff, I guess I have to set aside days to reenforce those things.

After I hurried through our review I put her on the longe line. I shouldn't have been surprised to find her quick and unfocused. A perfect reflection of my own attitude.

She walked when I asked, but I had to ask her to "whoa" at least a half dozen times before she stopped. I clicked for stopping and tried again. Same thing. I could tell she just wasn't listening and I could see the possibilities of me getting on Matilda's back fading into the ether.

As we struggled through our workout, I stumbled across another take off trigger, too. At the end of one of our circles, I dropped the longe whip on the ground and went to her to give her a reward for half decent behavior. I asked her to "walk on", which she did nicely, but when I bent over to pick up the whip she tried to take off! Huh, I thought, that's weird. Then it struck me that all of my desensitizing exercises with dropping and picking up the whip had been done while she stood still. This was the first time I had tried to pick up the whip while she was already in motion. All plans had to go on the back burner in order to fix this.

I asked her to "walk on" and bent down to the whip, she picked up that quick trot and I had to stand up quickly and use both hands to bring her back to the walk. I let her walk for a while then bent my knees to about the half way point, she picked up the quick trot with a head toss. Sigh. Up again to bring her down to the walk. OK, third time's the charm. I barely bent my knees, she sped up the walk but this time I was able to click before she trotted. It's pretty much a given (as much as these things can be) that when she hears the "click" she stops (thank You, Lord). She did so in this instance and I rewarded.

I asked her to walk again and after a few circles did another knee bend - click. Again, with a slightly deeper knee bend. We probably did this 10-12 times, with me getting a little closer to the ground each time, before I could pick up the whip while she continued to walk. The whole time I could feel my mental fingers drumming away on a mental table top with impatience.

Of course we had to do the same thing on the other side. Fortunately it took less time, as she was already familiar with the exercise.... I guess.

Now for the moment of truth. Did I dare?? The four riders had left the ring, but two more had come in for lessons. One little girl on a pony (I think it was a little girl on a pony, I was only half paying attention... you know, like Matilda) and one teenager on a young horse still in training. Not the ideal situation. Especially since Matilda was not listening to me on the ground.

But how could I not?! So, on went the helmet and Matilda and I walked to the mounting block. I clicked for lining up almost perfectly with the mounting block. I clicked for standing perfectly still while I hoisted myself up.

I wanted to see if she would respond to simple voice commands so I said "walk on" without giving any indication with my body of what I wanted (This is harder than it sounds. It's sort of auto-pilot-motion memory to squeeze with your legs as you ask for the walk.) and she just stood there. I said, "Matilda, walk on." and she stood there. I said, "Matilda, waaaalk ooooon." And she moved forward! No, just kidding, she still stood there. Finally I gave her a little squeeze with my ankles while asking her to walk on and she did (click!)

Then I asked her to "whoa" and she kept walking. So I squeezed back with the reins and asked her to "whoa" and she did (click!)

We spent about 10-15 minutes in just this way: walking, stopping, dismounting and re-mounting. All with relaxed loose reins and as little physical encouragement as possible. (Remember, one of our new goals is for her to respond to voice commands only from the saddle.) We now know that Matilda and I have to work on our coordination in getting carrots to her from the saddle. It's a little awkward but every time she stretches that head around to get a carrot from my hand, she is stretching her neck, loosening up and learning to bend. Bonus!

I wish I could end on this positive note, but as I finished my last dismount (click!) the food cart went past... Whatever little bit of good Matilda there was immediately vanished. I tried to hose her down but she would not stop moving and punching me. I finally just took her out to her paddock and turned her loose. We'll save working through feed time for another day. I was so frustrated by the time I took her out to the pasture that I did not realize until I was on my home how easy it was to lead her out. I know she was focused on getting to the food, but she never got ahead of me or punched me to try and get me to move faster. It would be quite simple (and some horses do) for her to try and rush and pull me along, but the whole way back to the paddock her head was near my shoulder... of course there was no time wasted either:)

On a second sad note, I have lost some of my contact with Loryn. Stupid school is already getting in motion and preparations intrude. We will try to figure out how to get together at least once a week but I am sad. I feel like the three of us were just hitting our stride together. stupid school. I am grateful for how she has motivated me to pick things up through this summer. I wouldn't be where I am without her involvement. We'll find a way to continue working together in some fashion. In this I am confident.

A new week begins. I see a lot of "walk on" and "whoa" in my near future. At least I will be in the saddle for some of it and that's where I want to be.

P.S. School is important. School is good. If you are in school, stay in school. Blah blah blah ;)

On Top of Matilda (to be sung) aka A New Thing

2011-07-28T17:25:00.007-04:00

FYI - We are leaving Kelly Marks' book behind. It has served its purpose and we are taking all the things that we have learned and running with it! I'll talk more about that later in this post.

We went to the barn on Tuesday but only so that my 6 year old niece could have a lesson. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw Matilda in the upper ring with a saddle on! Loryn was working with Matilda, not just going over "over" (hee hee) and moving away from pressure, but teaching Matilda to move away from small, gentle taps of the whip with the saddle on. Loryn informed me that she was not at all distracted by the saddle. Kismet -

Loryn was reading my mind. I had written in my last post that I was thinking of putting the saddle on Matilda for the lunge work and there she was, with a saddle on her back!

So today Matilda worked with a saddle. Loryn briefly showed me what she had been doing and then we put Matilda on the longe line. (I had indicated my hopes for the day to Loryn and I think she was as anxious as I was to press on!)

There was another horse in the ring and we had a slow start. I asked her to walk and then whoa. She kept walking for a long time after I asked her to stop, but I clicked as soon as she stopped and then I had her. She gave me everything I asked for within moments of my asking.

Now that she is doing so well with her walk, trot and whoa transitions, I am trying to focus on and reward some specific aspect of her lunge work. Right now it is softness on the line. Matilda likes to use the longe line to help her balance, just like we might balance by pressing against a wall, I believe she presses to the end of the longe line as a way of trying to balance herself. This means that I have to use my body weight to hold her head in, in an attempt to keep her from that spiraling out of control business. So, my goal now is to only click if the longe line is soft (or relaxed) and she is maintaining the circle on her own. Right now I can only get a few steps before she presses to the outside but a few steps is better than no steps at all.

Now we get to the fun stuff:

As long as Matilda had a saddle on her back and there were two of us there, somebody had to get up on her, right?! This was what Loryn and I had talked about and why we were so eager to get through our basics. We had talked about just clicking for Matilda standing still while Loryn simply mounted and dismounted, yeah right.

Our barn uses a mounting block and it is very difficult to dismount on top of a mounting block so we had to ask her to move forward a little too, right?? right??

This was Loryn's first time on Matilda and Matilda's first time with a rider in 2+ years. I think we were both really excited. I had the lead for Matilda's halter and Loryn was on her back. I wish I had pictures but, well... I had the lead rope and I am super paranoid and not getting distracted for a photo op.

OK, I am going to digress from the narrative to explain our new ideas and direction now so that you understand what we were doing....

One of the things Kim and I have talked about (in a vague sort of way) is the possibility of Matilda becoming a therapy horse. As I thought about how to transition Matilda from longe work to under saddle work, it hit me. If Matilda is to be a truly phenomenal and unique therapy horse, she needs to be able to listen, understand and obey basic directions from the saddle- whether by voice, leg, hands or any combination of the three.

I mean, what if someone who had no leg strength wanted to ride? Wouldn't it be great if they could be confident in rein or vocal aids while building leg strength? Or someone who had poor motor skills - they could rely on the vocal aids while figuring out how to move and control their limbs independently. The possibilities are infinite if we can figure out how to make this work.

So, I asked Loryn (and I will be also) to brain storm how to proceed to teach Matilda to stop (whoa), walk, trot and turn left or right by voice, leg and/or rein aid. I am really excited about this new idea. We'll still be working on "regular" riding so that she will be a good horse for Loryn to ride in lessons and such but this will be an entirely new dimension for us to work towards. We need to come up with long term and short term goals to meet each week. So cool.

(You can tell how excited I am by the poor sentence structure:))

Back to the narrative:

Loryn was up on Matilda, I had the lead. Our goal? to see how Matilda listened and responded to the vocal commands (NOT trot but walk and whoa) with minimal leg aids.

The difficulty? being next to her with the lead in my hand and not telegraphing "walk on" and "whoa".

Loryn would ask Matilda to "walk on" with minimal pressure from her heels then to "whoa". She had nothing to pull back on to support the vocal command. I did my best to walk next to them only after Matilda started walking and to slow to a stop only after Matilda did. Every few starts and stops Loryn would dismount, walk Matilda back to the mounting block and re-mount. I would click and reward when she stood absolutely still for mounting and for stopping on command. (stop is always the most important command for a 1600 lb. horse)

It was all brilliant. She was absolutely calm and quiet with everything we threw at her. I really believe that we are starting a new chapter in this journey. Now I am thinking about how to teach Matilda the difference between left and right. I think it will all start with the vocal commands and we will be able to build the other aids from there. Using the heat as our ally and the clicker as our enforcer, we press on to see just how far we can go, how much she can learn. The sky is truly the limit.

Giving Matilda Room to Move

2011-07-23T19:10:00.008-04:00

The extreme heat has narrowed down the time that we have to work with Matilda. I must say that, forced to make a choice, I want to spend my time working on the longing-type work.

Last week I made it to the barn on Tuesday and Friday. I not only focused on the lunging work (yes, I do keep intentionally changing the spelling of that word), I put Matilda on the 25 foot longe line. More freedom, less control... but very hot weather was once again on my side.

Both days, I started close, with her only 2-3 feet away, and worked her out to about 20 feet away with mostly walk/stop transitions. I began asking for walk/trot transitions when she was about 15 feet away but continued to feed the line out to 20 feet. I continued the process of clicking randomly for upward and downward transitions, for trotting a few steps or walking without any kind of tension on the line... or any combination of those things.

Tuesday we had one near take off. This one was due to the madness of other horses coming in from the pasture and it was relatively easy to bring her down. By that I mean throwing down the longe whip and using two hands and all my body weight to drag her head into me while giving her an extremely firm "Matilda, Whoa" seemed to do the trick.

Matilda is so quiet in the work and from the heat that I am becoming more and more comfortable in my handling of her. We had a horse being brought in for a lesson and I wanted to get her to the paddock before the trailer came down the hill, past the ring. I actually tried to get Matilda to trot with me by jogging beside then in front of her, outside of the ring, down to the paddock. This is something I never would have attempted one month ago... heat or no. You can see how well it went:

My new favorite picture.... It's sort of like trying to move a brick wall.

Friday was flawless. While working on her left, I was able to get a series of smooth walk/trot transitions (going from the walk to trot to walk to trot, etc.) without stopping. Clicking only after I asked for and received a solid stop. Throughout all these transitions I was able to flick the whip however and wherever I needed to keep her moving. She never flinched at it.

If you looked at the videos a couple of posts ago, you'll recall that it took me a couple of minutes to get her to trot in one of them. This has all but stopped. She picks up the trot within a few steps of my asking for it almost every time. I credit the upward transition clicking for that one. On Friday she was going up and down through her gaits readily.

Sometimes she still tries to walk into me when I tell her to "walk on" but that only occasionally. I do click for walking out into whatever circle we've established when I give the cues. I expect that walking into me behavior to extinguish itself.

We are only working about 30 minutes in the current heat. Enough time for a short review and 15-20 minutes of circle lunge work. Matilda seems really relaxed and willing.

I have guests in town this week, hence the rushed-style post. I won't get to see Matilda until Thursday afternoon. The work last week was fantastic and I am already thinking of adding a saddle to the longe line work, to see how she responds to the stirrups banging against her sides. Could be exciting!

Oh yes, the She-Beast is still there...

2011-07-19T09:10:00.003-04:00

"You never had control! That's the illusion!" - Dr. Ellie Sattler, Jurassic Park

Between Thursday and Friday last week, the temperature dropped 30 degrees. It rained all Friday morning. The perfect day to work with Matilda and see what she really knows or will do without the triple digit heat indexes on my side.

I have good news and bad news. Leading up to the ring and working on our basic groundwork exercises went very well. Matilda did everything I asked for up to and including turning around her front legs without walking forward first.

Then I moved into our circle work. Every time I asked her to walk forward, she took one step forward then turned and walked into me. When I would re-adjust and re-adjust to keep her from walking into me and ask her to walk on, she would toss her head or kick out (or both) and trot as she tried to pull away.... Ahhh, just like old times.

Now, it was raining, so her halter was soaked and bunching up funny, the flies were all over and biting her (despite my attempts to beat them off with healthy doses of fly spray) and we were working with another horse in the ring for the first time since we started all this nonsense. Not an easy day for the best of horses.

I felt privileged to get one walking circle around me on either side with no disasters. You know, the ones that take us all the way back to the beginning? Yeah, none of that.

Before I became completely frustrated (which we all know leads to bad things and potential disaster) we called it quits and I led her out to the paddock. The entire way from the ring to the paddock, Matilda nipped and mouthed at my hand and arm. Well, not the entire way. Sometimes she took a break to punch me in the back with her nose. Needless to say I was ticked.

We were both relieved to reach the paddock and say our fare thee wells for the day. That was Friday. Yuck.

Then came Monday. Who likes Mondays? Matilda apparently. (FYI - Monday was sunny, but not quite the heat and humidity that we have been experiencing. The perfect follow up to Friday)

I forgot to tell you that in recent weeks, Matilda has two new paddock mates during the day. I tried to get a picture of them but it is no good. I'll try again later. Forty is her boyfriend:) Bruin is a little, noisy welsh pony that looks like a mini-Matilda. I refer to them as her "family". It's changed the dynamic a little as far as getting Matilda from the paddock.

Like with any family, they fight. I don't want to get in the middle of a horse fight. I can be stupidly reckless but even I have my limits. The problem is that Matilda tends to look to Forty when I call her to come as if asking permission to leave. I'm not going all the way to her to remove her from the mini-herd but she can be a little reluctant to come to me if the other two are with her. Don't get me wrong, she'll do it - I just have to work harder by coming further into the paddock than I really would like. It's just like with dogs: less distance between means better communication. Shoot.

On Monday, there was a double threat. Matilda and Forty were together... eating hay. As I approached the paddock the thought crossed my mind that there was no way I was going to walk up to her and Forty to pull her away. But there was no way she was coming to me. I started formulating a complicated, "Mission: Impossible" type plan....

Just for laughs, I closed the gate to the paddock behind me and said "Matilda, hey Matilda, come" and she did. You could have knocked me over with a feather. She took her time and stopped along the way but ultimately she came all the way to me.

And that is how our Monday went. Everything was beautiful. We even did her circle work with another rider in the ring and it was like nothing. Amazing.

One major thing (for me) was being done differently. Up until now I have only been clicking for downward transitions, ie trot to walk, walk to stop. Monday I started clicking for any and everything. If I said trot and she started trotting, I would click and follow up with an immediate, rapid fire "walk, whoa" and go in with the reward. I clicked for upward and downward transitions, I clicked for completing a full circle at the trot without pulling on the lead. It was totally random. She might go through 3 transitions without any click and then get a click for all of the next 5. I think we both liked this. It kept us on our toes and I am going to be sure to keep on clicking a little more randomly as we move on with our circle/lunging work.

In light of the nipping and punching of Friday, we also went back to the basics of food and respecting my space. With the clicker as my little helper, we worked until I could place a carrot piece in the flat palm of my hand, holding it close to my body, and she would look away, not taking it until I put it under her nose.... apples too. We'll keep reenforcing this one daily. I don't like being punched in the back.

All in all I consider these two days rather perfect when added together. It's important for me to have reminders that Matilda is an enormous, strong animal with instincts and a will of her own. The idea that I can "control" her with a 10 foot lead and 2 inch clicker is rather ridiculous. However, with each unsuccessful breakaway attempt, I am learning to trust my own handling skills more and more.

With the difference between Friday and Monday I am also reminded that sometimes bad days are just that. Bad days. We all have them. We meet our co-workers and friends with an attitude that sends them reeling and the next day offer them a hug and kind word that is even more baffling.

Matilda and I are still and always a team. I was so encouraged by all that happened I put her on the true 25' longe line today, giving her more space to build momentum and break away or move beautifully and safely.... but I will write about what happened today later.... :D

New and Improved Post * Now with Video (links)

2011-07-14T17:12:00.005-04:00

It's really amazing how much Loryn has added to this equation. Just meeting her, talking to her and seeing her interest in Matilda is keeping me motivated and focused. It's also helped me to shift my thinking from the theoretical to the practical, pushing to move on with Matilda's future as a riding horse clearly in focus.

This doesn't mean that we don't have time for some fun. One of our favorites is "up", where we lift a hand, say "up" and Matilda lifts the corresponding hoof. She is doing it so well that we are working on speed and sequences of lifting. We have been wondering if we can get her to the point where she will prance on her front feet, going back and forth. So far we've only got her going from left to right once, very slowly, before clicking but we are building. It makes me laugh to watch it.

I am trying to get it on video, but whenever I pull out the camera she stops. I have half a dozen 10 second videos of Matilda standing and staring blankly at Loryn or the camera while Loryn stands with one hand in the air saying "up" over and over.... that sort of makes me laugh too.

More practically, we continue to focus on Matilda's response to pressure. I think I said this in my last post but I will reiterate (b/c I can't remember and don't want to actually go back and look) that we are looking for Matilda to give appropriate responses in moving away from the smallest amount of pressure so that a child could apply a hand or heel to her side and get a decent response. She really does well with this and it is all about fine tuning (ew) and making sure that we are getting the exact movement we want every time.

Right now I can pretty much count on getting one step to the side when I put one finger on her shoulder. She moves one complete lateral step sideways with her whole body when she feels a finger around where her girth will be more than half of the time. Her hind end is where everything comes to a grinding halt... literally. When I start walking towards her haunch, she often bends her head around to watch me as if to say, "And where do you think you're going??" I apply a finger, then a knuckle, then a fist with my whole weight leaning up against her. I have to lean there for about 5 seconds before she steps forward and then, finally, out to the side with just her hind legs. We'll be focusing on the refinement of that skill until it's one finger to her hip equaling one step out with her hind leg. It's just a matter of good timing and consistency with that wonderful Click!

We continue to work on... ummmm.... encouraging her not to pull for the grass when being led around. Work sessions frequently start with a trip around the ring, stopping every few steps and clicking and rewarding if she can keep that giant head up and not reach for the delectable fringe of grass that tempts her just inside the fence. Yesterday she really started to get it. I noted several times with both Loryn and myself that she backed up and turned her head into us and away from the grass when we stopped walking.

I've started giving her those farewell pieces of apple on the trip from the ring to the paddock, since that used to be where the worst pulling occurs... Funny, she's not so interested in the grass once she knows there might be apples....

On Tuesday this week, Matilda was very rushy. I only asked for walk and stop and worked on her standing still while I picked up the whip then moved into and away from her. She tried to take off once or twice but either she responded to my request for a walk or I was able to pull her nose into me to bring her down. I don't know if I should say that I never lost control of her or she never lost control of herself. Probably both. We are a team after all.

This is video from Wednesday, towards the end of our session in extremely hot weather. I wish that I had before and after video, to show you what it was like when we first started. You'll just have to go back and read earlier posts and trust my descriptions and your imagination. I am no fool and know that the heat is giving me an enormous amount of help. In one of the videos I had to work really hard to get anything approaching a trot. (my husband has informed me that it is not a true Matilda trot - more of an upbeat walk :p) I think it is wonderful. When watching them back, I am still surprised at how I can flick the whip behind her heels. I was so proud of the way she listened to me for those downward transitions.

Sorry these are just links, I wanted to embed the video into the blog, but I am not that skilled.

http://youtu.be/aEYAHgeaKGE

http://youtu.be/ofawE_tuHxw

We are still working on the 10' lead. This really is not enough space for her to move comfortably but I believe that we will be starting to push out on the 25' longe line soon. Especially if we have more days like this.

Yes, I am still working with Matilda.

2011-06-26T17:53:00.008-04:00

I wonder how many of my posts begin with an apology for not writing enough....

I am just going to summarize where we are now and what we are doing, so that I can move forward with you this week.

1) Groundwork:

Matilda continues to excel with all of her basics. I believe we have finished all the exercises in Chapter 2 of our book, including one in which I had to attach a lunge line to one side of her harness, take it down one side of her body, behind her legs and pull to see if she would follow the pressure without knowing where it was coming from. This was an exercise I was wary of doing but Matilda had no problems with it.

Right now we are focusing on just how Matilda responds to pressure. (She should move away from it, fyi.) We are building her response level, using all the voice and visual commands she has learned to help, so that if I put a finger on any part of her body, she will move away from it. We are doing this with the idea that even a small child should be able to move Matilda around with the smallest amount of pressure from their leg. She is better in some places than in others. For instance, she is more likely to give a speedy and appropriate response from her left shoulder than her right. We are working on this all the way from the top of her head down to her haunches: applying varying degrees of pressure and waiting for her to move where and how we want her to, then click and reward!

We are also starting to click for her ears turning forward. As long as I have known Matilda, she has preferred to have her ears pointed back, not pinned back but not far off it. This one is going to take some time. Matilda is such a wiggle worm, I anticipate weeks before she narrows in on what exactly she is doing to earn the click.

2) Longe work:

The lunge work is going really well. I am keeping Matilda on the 10' lead for the time being but have, on several occasions, been able to ask for the trot, drive her through it for 1 or 2 full circles and then ask for and immediately receive the walk and stop. I am not ignorant of the fact that the heat is working in my favor. Ninety + degrees, bright sunshine and high humidity keeps all of us a little quieter in spirit.

I think I can say that I did learn from the last break away. We start every longing session with about 5-10 minutes of me dropping and picking up the whip, making sure that she can stand still while I move around her holding the whip out towards her. There have been many days when I haven't asked for anything from Matilda, as far as longing goes, because the timing or something didn't feel right.

The closest I have come to a break away happened last week (while my mom was visiting, incidentally - she really enjoyed seeing Matilda do the things she has been reading about). I was just working on walk/stops with Matilda and the ATV went by to deliver dinner to the paddocks. Of course Matilda knew exactly what that ATV meant and she gave a buck and trot, I immediately dropped the whip and pulled her nose in while I yelled "WHOA!" She responded and it was over. Just like that. Nice to be able to maintain control every once in a while.

I am hoping for one more solid week of good, short walk/trot/halt work before I move her onto the 25' longe line and give her more space to move. Maybe next week!

3) An introduction:

I want to introduce you to Loryn. Loryn loves Matilda and hopes to ride and/or lease her someday (soon?). Kim hooked us up and she is now working with Matilda, too. Loryn has a lot of experience with horses and riding and I am grateful to be able to share this experience with her. It is also good to know that there is someone else looking out for Matilda on the days I can't be there.

In addition to all the other stuff that we are working on, I think Loryn is going to start working with Matilda on "squaring up" on command and (hopefully) whenever she stops. Squaring up means that when she is standing still her front legs and back legs are lined up, nice and even.

SO that is where we are. If all goes according to plan, I will be at the barn a good amount this week and would love to have some interesting stories for you, more pictures, maybe even a video! Things are cruising along nicely, though. Sometimes it's hard to believe!

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

2011-06-20T18:05:00.004-04:00

Last night I dreamt that I was dealing with a large black and white horse. The horse was difficult to deal with on the ground, pushy and constantly in motion, and hard to contain under saddle, unwilling to stay at a nicely paced walk or trot. Clearly an amalgamation of the horses in my life, the dream, along with the mirror incident from last week, got me thinking about how horses (and pets in general) perceive and/or reflect us.

I know a lot of horses bolt and like to try to run away but I like to wonder if these two horses that came into my life do it in part because of what they see when they look at me, on some cosmic level. I mean, do these animals pick up on and reflect back the underlying reasons for my getting in the car as a teenager and driving for hours 15 mph over the speed limit (b/c ten over was normal in VA) just because I needed to be moving? Do they see that same longing that was there when I watched my dad race his Trans Am, then RX-7, then Corvette? (Happy Belated Father's Day!)

On some level is there an understanding of that slightly stubborn and rebellious nature that has always been there. ("Slightly?!" I hear my mom say with a laugh, "Do you see these grey hairs??") You know, the one... old memories and stories are unnecessary in order to extrapolate because we all have them. Does it come down the longe line to Matilda or get communicated through body language in ways that I don't understand?

Or is it just that I am aware of these tendencies in myself and they are, therefore, put onto the living things around me, whether they are there in reality or not? I don't really want to know.

But I choose to think that when Matilda looks at me (oh, those rare occasions of actual eye contact), she sees past the thinly veiled disguise of maturity and adulthood and reads the question that has been pushed to the back of my mind... and possibly just there to the left.

"Are we going to canter today, Miss Kim?"

Slow and Boring.... No, STEADY, really, I meant Steady

2011-06-19T16:07:00.002-04:00

So, since my last post (you know the debacle of break aways and run offs) we have been taking things very slowly. If you recall, I had to back up to the very beginning and that is where we have remained. Every day, I go through a routine of reviewing all her yielding behaviors and building her stretching routine (stretching the neck by taking her head all the way down to the ground then from side to side) followed by work with the longe whip. I have yet to put her back on the actual 25 foot longe line. I keep her on the 10' lead and let her walk around me at the end of that.

When I say I am at the beginning, I actually mean that I backed up to where I should have begun. A couple of days after the debacle, I had Matilda on the lead and bent down to pick up the whip, she immediately began to walk away at a quick pace. Something clicked in my mind at that point, realizing that picking up the longe whip was a trigger point for her. Over the last two weeks, "we" have spent a lot of time simply dropping the whip on the ground and picking it up.... picking it up slowly, picking it up quickly with a snap. Dropping it in front of her, beside her, or just behind her. Doing this on the left and the right. Clicking and rewarding her for standing still as I do all of this. It's exciting stuff, this asking the horse to stand still whilst I drop and pick up the whip ad nauseam.

Then I move on to the really exciting stuff. I move into her then away from her, holding the whip, still asking her to stand still. whee.

Sarcasm aside, I understand this is important stuff. Even when Matilda is at her best, she starts anticipating what I am going to ask of her. When we work on longing and she successfully stops on command, I move in to give her the reward and as I step back, she starts walking before I have set myself and asked her to "walk on". This is fine when she is at her best, but when she is at her worst it spells disaster. So, we work on her standing still as I drop and pick up the longe whip, I snap it and touch her with it, all the while clicking and rewarding while she just stands there. Then I back up to the end of the lead, get in position, wiggle the whip behind her rear hooves and say "walk on" she usually does and it always surprises me.

This is pretty much all we have done for the last two weeks. She is walking and stopping for me on command reasonably well. Like all of us there are good days and bad days, but the controls that I have on her now seem to be preventing colossally horrid days.

I did buy a halter that fits her and a new longe line, so that when the time comes I have one that is new and un-weathered, hopefully without any weak spots. I put a leather strap across the nose of the halter that I can attach the lead to so that when I pull, it tightens across the top of her nose, adding pressure like the chain would but gentler.

I figure that every day that she doesn't get away from me, I am closer to a world where she doesn't try. How much longer we will have to stay here, I don't know. I am going to try to come up with something new to add into the mix to keep us in a learning frame of mind; I can tell that we are both getting bored with this routine. It's a routine we have to stick to in part, but there is no reason why we can't keep adding to the repertoire. I have to go back to the book and see what else I am missing from our to-do list.

I will tell one funny story. We usually work in the jump ring, since the dressage (aka upstairs) ring doesn't have any kind of fencing. With the summer here, there are days when there are no gaps in the lesson schedule for me to bring Matilda in and we have to work very gently in the dressage ring. I do not do any simulated longing there. Last week while we were working in the dressage ring, she seemed to catch sight of herself in one on the large mirrors that sits at the far end of the ring. It took me awhile to figure out why she was standing stock still and staring. When I realized it must be the mirror, I thought I would simply walk her up to the mirror and let her check it out. As we approached the "other horse" I noticed that Matilda was getting more and more agitated, more bouncy in her movement, breathing harder, tense. I got half way across the ring before the thought occurred to me that perhaps she was challenging that other horse and, of course, that horse in the mirror was challenging right back.

I don't know if Matilda could see or discern that two dimensional image, but having the thought was enough for me. I wasn't prepared to face whatever might have come next from my already agitated horse and we turned around and left the ring. She did continually check behind her the whole way down the hill. I can only assume that she was making sure the other horse didn't follow.

Who stole my horse and replaced her with this she-beast?!

2011-06-06T18:05:00.002-04:00

To be perfectly honest, I swore more today than I have since high school. Maybe college. I vaguely remember writing, in the early days of this blog, about not pushing Matilda when she was unfocused and not with me. Apparently, I have yet to learn this lesson. I still feel like that would be giving up or quitting. The truth: it is just smart.

I could tell Matilda was not with me from the start. I don't know how one knows these things. I mean, as we started the review, she was doing what I asked but there was a vagueness about it all. It's just something you know sometimes, I guess.

I was, however, still blinded by the afterglow of last week's triumph and pushed on in the name of progress. Big, bold me, thought surely I could push Matilda through... whatever... and make some progress. Surely... not.

Matilda was on auto-pilot. She started walking and wouldn't stop. I had no part of her. I still started pushing the lunge whip through my hand in order to get it fully extended behind her, like on Wednesday. I got the whip about 1/2 way to the end when everything fell apart. She picked up the crazy trot and was on her way to crazy canter when the lunge line broke close to her halter.

At least I didn't have to worry about her stepping on the line as I watched her canter away, clearing a 2'6" - 3' jump in the process. It was truly amazing watching her take that jump at full speed.

I got a different lunge line and reattached her, but that first break away was enough to remind her of her own potential. The moment we got back in our circle and I leaned over to pick up the lunge whip, she took off and I hadn't a chance. I went after her, detached the lunge line and, for some reason that is still unknown to me, picked up the lunge whip to "gently" approach her with it.

Dumb. She took off again at a full gallop and broke out of the ring through the gate (don't worry, it is only braided baling twine, as far as damage goes). There is nothing like the sound of "LOOSE HORSE" ringing through the quiet Monday barn. Once she was free, she simply ran around the back of the barn, where two people who had heard my cry were able to grab her and hold her until I came with her lead to collect the mad beast.

Tempted as I was, I could not leave things there. Instead, we went all the way back to the beginning. Chain across the nose, clicking for letting me touch the whip, clicking for letting me touch her with the lunge whip, clicking for walking only 3 feet away from me with the whip behind her.... Then we finished with me forcing backs and overs on her. She knows this stuff, for crying out loud, but when I asked, her feet were glued to the ground. I was getting nothing.

I left the barn angry at the universe and extremely frustrated. I will be back tomorrow, not nearly as enthusiastic. I am going to have to slow way down and be very careful. She's gotten away from me twice this week, there cannot be a third time. I have to start retraining that brain all over again. sigh. I have got to be more patient and aware and willing to walk away. Double sigh.

I am left wondering if this was just today? or is it going to be like this every Monday unless I find some other time to get to the barn between Wednesday afternoon and Monday morning? Is that just too long a break? I don't know the answers to these questions yet. It was an exciting day and I wish I had some video of Matilda running wild. It is beautiful to behold.... I hope I never see it again. Not like that anyways.

A Triumphant End (aka Almost a Spa Day)

2011-06-05T16:35:00.006-04:00

Tuesday was much like Monday. There was review, there was stretching. I had taken a moment to look at the book that I am supposed to be following to see what else I am supposed to be doing and remembered that two of the yielding exercises in the current chapter are turning around the hind legs and turning around the forelegs. I decided that turning around the hind legs should be an easy one to add into the mix, but I wasn't sure about the other. It had been a long time since I had tried to get Matilda to step out with her hind legs and I seemed to remember that it was not an easy task.

First I stood in front of Matilda and asked her to "over" as I stepped around her in a circle. Piece of cake, she stepped out with her right front leg, crossed over with the left front and we did that until we completed a half circle. We did the same in the other direction. I don't even have to touch her for that one.

Then to check how the hind end moves. I walked back towards her rear end, turned into her hip and put one finger in the middle of that substantial haunch as I said "over." She took a step with her right hind leg and crossed over with her left. I was able to do the exact same thing on the other side.... not bad, so I stopped there. No point in pushing perfection.

The longe work on Tuesday was exactly the same as on Monday, but with less trotting. She was starting to give in to the work, I could feel it! We went through the exact same process of clicking while she walked, then saying "whoa" as she was in the process of stopping. I had to continue holding the longe whip close to the lash, as she was watching me all the time. If I started pushing the whip closer to her, she would immediately try to pick up that crazy trot and I would have to drop the whip and pull her into me to stop her.

At one point I realized she was picking up the pattern too well and she had figured out that if she started to trot I would let her stop (my mind was interpreting what I was doing as "make her stop"). I came to this understanding when she picked up the crazy trot, trotted three steps and stopped, turning into look at me before I could even drop the whip. Not cool. What did that mean? It meant the next time she picked up crazy trot, I had to drive her through it, using the whip to keep her moving forward while my teeny arm held her nose down and in at the end of 10 feet of rope, until she came down to the walk. After that, I had to continue to use light motions from my shortened whip to keep her from stopping and turning in to me. Once we got through all of that, I got a few good steps of walk and Click!

In any event, the system that was used on Monday worked on Tuesday. I saw more walking and a little less trotting and hope springs eternal.... I noticed, however, on the way back to the paddock, that Matilda was pulling this way and that, trying to get to the grass. She rarely pulls on the way to the ring, but going back is a problem. I made a mental note to be sure and reserve some carrots for the trip back next time. I usually don't, so we haven't worked our way down before now.

I couldn't get to the barn until late in the morning on Wednesday and I figured that the ring would be full and I wouldn't really be able to work Matilda. I thought maybe we would have a spa day for Matilda. I've been meaning to attack that mane and it is certainly hot enough here (mid to high 90s) to justify a bath... with actual soap.

Much to my surprise and joy, I arrived at the barn to find a big one hour gap in the lessons! Cancel the spa day, back to work!

I followed the same plan as Tuesday, starting with stretches, backs and overs. We did a full circle around her hind legs in both directions (still don't have to touch her for that) and half circles around her forelegs (index finger alone moves that bulk around!). I must confess that I am now finding the longe work so rewarding that I am rushing through our yielding/ground work exercises because I want to see how she is going to progress on the longe line.

Her longe work on Wednesday was AMAZING! I worked her out about half way down the line, letting her get a little further away from me, and I was able to get the longe whip all the way out. We went from holding the stick two inches from the lash to about 5 feet! Just like you are meant to hold it. I was even able to wiggle it behind her and lay it across her haunch while she continued to walk. Now it was about 98 degrees, but I am not above using the heat to achieve a goal. (Don't worry we weren't out there that long)

With this incredible burst forward, we started working on her walk/stop transitions. Instead of clicking while she was walking, I started saying "whoa" first and then clicking when she stopped. We achieved the ultimate goal, she stopped when I said "whoa" and walked (walked, I tell you!) when I said "walk on" with a wiggle of the whip behind her. Brilliant. No more turning into me when I told her to stop, she stopped with her head pointed in the direction she had been walking. Perfect.

I was so impressed, I had to call poor Kim away from her work to watch. I was showing off with the whip, when I pushed a little too far and she picked up the trot. BUT when I said "walk" she took about 4 more trot steps, then came down to the walk. With the longe whip still wiggling behind her. I told Kim, "I know she's too keyed up to do this now, but she's even been stopping when I say 'whoa.'" And Matilda stopped while we watched. I know my mouth was hanging open.

With all of this excitement, I had to give Matilda a mini-spa day. I attacked the mane. Here is a sort of before and after shot... and I am not done yet. I think it still needs some work, but I am practicing my straightening skills as we go.

We did click and treat every two steps from the stable to the paddock on Wednesday. With that frequency of click and reward, there was no pulling, no trying for the grass. She walked when I walked and stopped when I stopped, but that was 4 days ago now. I'm not really worried about it, since Matilda has already proved that she has a good memory.

One of my next projects is to find a halter that actually fits Matilda. I apologize for the sideways picture (I am still getting used to a new phone), but I think you can see that this halter is being kept on by strategically placed bailing twine in two places. I have tried all the halters at the barn on Matilda and this is the closest fit. As she behaves better and is seen more... well, we all have our pride, don't we?

I go back to the barn tomorrow and I can hardly wait to get into the ring with Matilda and see what the day holds. There's a part of me that is itching to hop on her back and see what happens, but I promise I will not (Mom and Husband). I have a plan in mind and I will see it through to the end... But I'm starting to see what the end looks like. It is good.

Discoveries, Failures and Successes

2011-05-30T14:28:00.003-04:00

It's been almost a month since my last post and the reasons are simple. I just haven't had much time for Matilda this month. I've checked in with her weekly, but only 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there to make sure she hasn't lost too much in the time apart. But now it is the end of May. My car is fixed, a job that I was studying up for has begun and summer is here. Time for me to get back to the project at hand: Matilda.

After the last post and before I checked out for the month, my sister had asked if I knew what had happened to Matilda to make her so scared of the longe whip. When I went to answer her I was surprised to realize that I had no real idea. There were a lot of scenarios that ran through my mind, but all were based on assumptions with no real knowledge. (You know what they say about when you assume??) So I went to Kim and asked her why Matilda was so difficult to handle. The answer sort of knocked me for a loop.

Kim basically said that she thought there had been some inconsistencies in how Matilda had been handled and that Matilda had learned over the course of a couple of years that there were people she could get away from and so she always tried and so she often did.

I was a little bit floored by this revelation. All my visions of Matilda accidentally being popped by whips until she simply feared them and tried to escape them flew out the window. Most of my sympathy went with them. I felt so... used.

This is such a good thing because too much sympathy does an animal no favors. Too much sympathy leads to coddling, coddling to affirmation of fear and bad behavior and affirmation leads to an animal that either won't leave it's comfort zone or knows it can get away with bloody murder and does so.

Does this mean I am changing my plan of positive reinforcement with the clicker training? Absolutely not. Does it change anything? Absolutely. From here on out, at least in my mind, there are two separate things going on with Matilda and I:

First, continuing to work on ground manners. This will go on exactly as before, using Kelly Marks' book to help Matilda go forward learning to give people space, yield to pressure, etc.

Second, longe work or Matilda's cardio workout. I will still use the clicker and positive reinforcement, but I have given myself permission to be much more assertive with things in order to push Matilda into work a little faster. She will have to give me A LOT more of what I want at the end of the longe line in order to earn that click and reward!

Last week I decided to check on this longe work to see where we stand. Admittedly not my best idea, seeing as how I had barely seen Matilda for over two weeks, but by now we all know about the slightly reckless side to my nature.

I started her out going to the right and she did surprisingly well. She was not really in control, neither was I, but we looked like we were doing what we meant to do. Matilda picked up the "I want to run away" trot as soon as I had the longe line in one hand and the whip in the other. (It's funny how putting the pieces together - line and whip in the ring - made it seem like we had done almost no work at all prior to this. But there again, two plus weeks with no time together did us no favors.) I managed to keep her where I wanted in relation to my personage, despite her throwing her considerable weight to the outside, pulling away from me. After much asking and waiting and hanging on, she finally slowed to a walk and I was able to use the whip to keep her at a walk for a couple of trips around the circle - until I asked her to stop. (Her instinct, when she realizes that she is not succeeding at pulling away from me, is to stop and turn into me. Getting her to simply walk, not trot or stop, is a tricky thing as it turns out.)

Then I put her on the left... supposedly her good side. Not pretty. We immediately started what I thought was the same process, with her picking up a fast trot and pressing to the outside. This time, however, I could feel a difference. There may have been little to no control on the right, but on the left there was a distinct feeling of being totally out of control. The more I tried to gain control, the worse it got... let me explain. With most horses that have been longed, if you put a little pressure on the line (and therefore on their nose) they slow or stop or turn into you. The longer you hold the pressure, the more they should slow down. With Matilda, the more I held, the faster she went until she was in a full on canter. The faster she went, of course, the more momentum she had to move away from me until she was all the way at the end of the line. It's a little scary, that feeling of no control, especially as you get dizzy after being spun in circles with no end in sight.

Ultimately, I had to let her go and watch her run happily across the ring, dragging the 30 foot longe line behind her as I said a quick prayer that she wouldn't step on it or get it caught on something. I had lost that battle... one I should not have engaged in to begin with.

I couldn't let it end there. I took her lead and walked up to where she was happily munching some grass. Her lead has a 6' chain on the end (called a stallion chain) and I attached the lead to her halter with the chain going across the top of her nose. This is a practice frequently used to help control an unruly horse and one that I never intended to use on Matilda. However I had to win before we parted for the day and I was short on time, tools and energy.

I walked her back to where she had escaped and picked up the longe whip. She immediately started trotting, but with the chain across her nose and the short distance between us, she simply could not pick up the speed and momentum that she had before. With this configuration, I was able to get her to walk around me, while I held the longe whip, until I asked her to stop. Thus ended the day.

Today I went in fully realizing what I was facing, which is always helpful. I brought Matilda up into the ring and we went through a nice long review together. I wasn't sure things were going to go well, as she was super distracted by people being around. She is going to have to get used to it, as summer is here and there won't be lonely barn days for about 3 months:)

All her old moves were there, albeit rusty, and we have started working on some stretches. She stretches her neck by lowering her head all the way to the ground and then bending the neck from side to side. We have just started this, but I am hoping that there will come a day when she and I can do some morning stretches together.

Then came time to start the fabled longe work. I knew that I needed some sort of help with control, but didn't want to use a chain across the nose. After talking to Kim, I decided to hook her up to the longe line so that the line, which is just like a wide flat cotton leash, went across her nose. I hooked it up so that when I pulled on the line it would add pressure across the top of her nose, encouraging her to bring her nose down and in, rather than just pulling her head to the side as is the case when I just attach the line to the side of the halter.

I also kept her closer to me. No more than 10-15 feet of line. The smaller circle makes it harder and more uncomfortable to speed up.

This combination worked for us today. We still went through the same exciting process of Matilda trying to get away, but she was not able to do so. Through some trial and error, I also found that if I picked up the longe whip close to where the stick meets the lash, so that the whip was further away from her, I could work her down to a walk. She still tried to escape from it as soon as I would pick it up but she would give up, not so if I pick the whip up by the handle. When I pick up the whip by the end and hold it out in front of me, she runs and presses until I drop it because I need both hands to hang onto her... then she stops and turns into me, knowing that I can't encourage her on.

After a lot of work, I was able to get her to walk around me on both sides, while I held the longe whip an inch below the lash. I was able to use the whip, in that position, to encourage her to walk on without her running off into that super chaotic trot thing she does. She was only rewarded if she walked until I asked her to stop.

Since I wanted her to understand that the walk was what I was rewarding her for, I would wait until she settled into a nicely paced walk, made a couple of trips around me at that pace, then I would have to click, say "whoa!" and step into her with her carrot at the same time. I think I got the timing right on that one. It's all about multi-tasking.

So, that is where we are. It was a small success on the day, walking on the longe line while I held the whip in my hand, but a success it was. It's a starting point for this next phase and that was all I needed to get my foot in the door. It will probably be quite a while before I actually ask Matilda to trot on the longe line. I think I will work on building the walk until she can walk at the end of the line (maybe 30 feet out) with the longe whip doing it's full job before I even look for the trot.... I'm sure I'll be seeing it in any event.

Longing Matilda

2011-05-02T14:45:00.005-04:00

I know, two weeks. I have seen Matilda in the last two weeks, but the visits have been a hodgepodge of stuff. Mostly she had to punish me a little, because I left her alone for a week, by being a stubborn cheese head last week and I didn't want to write about it. I think the only accomplishment from last week that I care to mention is that neither of us were injured during the course of our "working" together.

BUT it is a new day in a new week and we approached it with enthusiasm and purpose!

I am really bad at these self-portrait things, but I tried to get a photo of myself with Matilda. At least in this one you can get a better idea of how huge she really is. With her head like this, on my shoulder, her nose is down around my waist.... Makes me feel brave to see it:)

Oh, I remember one thing that came out of last week: Matilda and I decided that we should spend as much time working in the riding ring as possible. The added distractions of just being in a different place are important and we both need to learn to focus, even if cars are pulling in and horses are being led past. Plus it gives us time to practice being led politely to and from the barn. We will work there when ever the ring seems to be free from riding lessons.

Since the barn is closed on Monday's, we worked in the ring today!

It's hard for me to keep in mind the many tasks that Matilda and I are supposed to be accomplishing at the same time. Lately, the exercises in Kelly Marks' book have been taking the foreground, but again with all of our recent accomplishments and the (sort of) closing out of a chapter, I thought we might revisit the idea and dream of safely and reasonably longing Matilda.

If you look back at previous posts, you will remember that I had desensitized Matilda to the longe line and overly desensitized her to the longe whip - to the point that I can no longer send her forward or move her using the whip. However, I had yet to attach her to the line and yet to show her the whip while being attached to her in any way. I, also, had not done anything with either of those tools in the ring, where any previous bad experience may have occurred. Today was the day.

I put the longe line and whip on the ground in the middle of the ring before I even brought Matilda up, so that she could see them non-threateningly right away. We did our usual review in the ring before I led her over to where they were laying. She nosed them and didn't seem to be bothered with them, so I picked up the clip of the longe line and tried to clip it to her halter. She balked a little, pulling up her head, but she may have just been trying to mouth it.

Once she was attached, I had to get her moving but was not ready to pick up the whip just to "see how it would go". I started walking with her, encouraging her towards the grass, hoping that with the forward momentum I could stop, hold the longe line and turn her head to get a few steps of a circle. But with Matilda, sometimes forward momentum is forward momentum. When she hit the end of the line, her head did not turn in and she did not slow or stop. She just kept moving with me dragging along behind and I had to let go of the rope as if I meant to do just that.

I didn't let go of the rope lightly. When a horse walks away, dragging a 30 foot line behind them, bad things can happen. If she were to step on it and panic, she could really do damage to herself, but I thought it was the best thing I could do in that moment.

Fortunately my phone started ringing at this point and I had some other business to take care of, so I unclipped the line and let her munch for a while. It gave me a chance to regroup. She didn't come back to me, like on previous days. She just kept watching me and eating. With the lack of recent work I really can't expect much though, can I? Since we haven't been working together so much and we were doing new things, I thought she might be a little on edge and didn't want to walk up to her and try to clip the longe line to her halter while she was happily munching. I remembered that balk and didn't want to risk her running away. I took her regular lead and the target stick and used the target stick, along with the "touch" command to get her to lift her head and move away from the grass where I felt I could safely attach the lead.

A new decision to make. With the longe line, I could get more distance between us and be a little safer if Matilda lashed out, but thought maybe I should just use the lead (about 8 feet long) as a short longe line so that she couldn't work up so much momentum and I would have better control. I decided to keep her on the lead. But none of this solved the problem of how to get her to move in a circle around me. Matilda and I have been working on leading and walking together so long that she just sort of sticks with me and refuses to move away. I had to try the whip.

I backed Matilda up all the way to the end of the lead and positioned her so that I was facing her shoulder before I very carefully bent over to pick up the whip. I kept my eyes glued on her, since this very simple action has caused her to lash out and run off in the past. I was able to get the whip and stand up straight without incident.

We worked hard. Part of the time I ended up walking around her while she spun around her center (who is longing who here?) as I tried to get her moving around me. Then she would put her head down and buck or kick before taking off in a run, all the while trying to pull away from me. The whip obviously made her nervous as she alternated between running and stopping and turning to face it, trying to keep it away from her back side.

But then we hit a few sweet moments. She would break out of the run and fall into a nice steady trot. She would circle me just enough times to start making me dizzy before stopping and turning in to face me and the whip. I could pick up the rhythm of it after watching her do it several times and found my place to click and reward. Very tricky stuff. I had to click while she was moving at a steady pace, after she had gone more than a step or two in the trot but before she stopped or exploded back into the run. Then I had to step in and give her the treat as she stopped, before she could turn and look at me.

She never did settle into a walk. She never lost that nervous look in her eye that told me she was very uncomfortable and on the verge of panic. That's ok. I gave her as much freedom as I could, to do what she needed in order to cope, but kept an eye out for those moments when I could let her know she was close to doing what I wanted her to do.

We didn't do this for too long. It was incredibly stressful and trotting on a small circle like that isn't all that good for her, just a few times to get us started and then back to the classics.

We finished up with back and over (she was able to move laterally along a pole today) and grazed a path back to the paddock. It was an exciting day. Another small step to our ultimate goal. We'll keep chipping away at it until she is more comfortable and at ease with this whole whip and moving around me thing. I was very proud of her today. She didn't freak out when I picked up the whip or touched her with it, and I did get some circles out of her. I'd love to see quiet in her eyes, but I can wait. It'll come.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

2011-04-16T15:32:00.005-04:00

First a side note on the coming week: You may not be seeing a post from me next week. It is Spring Break in Greenville County and I am sure the barn will be over run with young people, making this kind of work sometimes awkward. In addition, there is a very high probability that my own horse, and Matilda's paddock mate, the beautiful and much beloved Bella Donna will be sold early in the week. This would make it an emotional week at the barn, not conducive to work. It may be a week for sitting on my sitting rock, staring at the sky and rubbing Matilda's chin. We'll see how things unfold.

With all this and the tremendous success with Wednesday's "L is for Leather" exercise, it seemed like a good time to pause and take stock of where we are.

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"Foundation Exercises" from Teach Your Horse Perfect Manners:

1) Happy to be touched all over with no resistance: Check! although she does have off days, but who doesn't?

2) Coming smoothly towards me off a long line of 10 ft in a straight line: Check! and then some. She comes to me from farther than 10 feet without a long line, but not necessarily in a straight line.

3) Backing up easily, including one step at a time: Triple Check!

4) Moving over sideways from either side, including over a pole: I haven't tried the over the pole thing in a while and I know we still have a tough time getting her whole body (mainly her back end) to shift sideways, but I think we can give ourselves a check here and move on.

5) Standing still for 1, 3 and 4 minutes: no comment, except that we are moving on. We'll keep this one in the back pocket for now.

6) L is for leather in either direction: Check! We'll try this one again to make sure it wasn't an accident, though.

Other stuff we do, but still need to work on:

Touching/Following a target stick. Check!
Picking up and flinging a ball (mostly at herself). Check!
Walking with me, unattached, in the paddock, including stopping and backing with me. Check!
Picking up feet. Just started.
Walking with me on the lead without pulling (She really is an easy lead, but working on being confident that she will not pull me is the key. Mostly it just requires practice.) mini-check.
Not pushing, biting or really touching me (unless I invite her too) mostly Check!
Desensitizing to the longe line and whip. Check!

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Not bad, not bad at all. We started on January 13, so this is a lot for 3 months. Actually I am kind of surprised at how much we have accomplished. It has felt so slow at times, but it should be slow since we are both beginners at this type of learning. That's a lot for slow learners.

Let's look at what's next too!

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"Additional Yielding Exercises" from Teach Your Horse Perfect Manners:

1) Head-Lowering Exercises: Lowers head with minimal pressure

2) Neck Flexing Exercise: Bending head from the poll (just behind the ears) and down the neck with little to no resistance

3) Following Pressure: Following pressure even if you don't know where it is coming from.

4) Disengaging Hindquarters: Walking around the front legs.

5)Moving the Forehand around the Hindquarters: Opposite of number 4.

6)Teaching a Horse to go in Front of You, or Walk Ahead of You.

** these are going to be interesting as some of them require contact or being attached, something I have tried to avoid (much of the time unsuccessfully) and have had lack of pressure and contact in teaching as a goal to achieve. Since all these exercises are designed to be done with person and horse attached, I will have to really think about what requires a line and what could be done without any kind of direction from pressure... with voice and body language only.

In addition, a lot of these are exercises in flexibility and suppleness that could be done every day as a sort of warm up, once learned.

What Else Might Happen?

Continuing to work on all the other stuff listed in our extracurricular activities, as well as walking in a circle around me. I guess you should know by now that anything can happen here. Anything that pops into my head or that I come across in my reading that sounds like fun can and probably will be added to the list.

Thanks to those of you that are reading this and following my adventures with Matilda. There's a lot more to be done and a lot more fun to be had here! I am looking forward to seeing where all this goes. Until next time....

Matilda Rocks!

2011-04-13T16:18:00.005-04:00

Wednesdays mornings are quiet at My Barn. This morning the whole place was mine. A good morning to bring Matilda up to the ring to work. In the book I am supposedly following, there is one more exercise to do in this first chapter that I have been avoiding. It is an exercise entitled "L is for leather." In this exercise, I am supposed to navigate Matilda into backing through poles that are laid on the ground in an L-shape, as pictured. The exercise is supposed to help her learn focus, attentiveness to surroundings and careful foot placement. It should also help her start to bend her sides a little.

I have been avoiding it for 2 reasons: 1) It seemed like it would be hard, 2) I would have to bring Matilda up to the ring or lug 4 poles down to her paddock in order to try it.

I thought that today would be a good day to bring her up to the ring, since we have been stuck in a bit of a rut down in the paddock. The ring offers new challenges for us, even with no one there, the main one being grass. Grass grows just inside the rails all the way around the riding ring. Good to find out if Matilda can work with distractions.

I put the halter and lead on Matilda and we walked around the paddock, practicing walking together while attached, before we walked out the gate and onto the grassy path up to the ring. I kept a short, tight hold on the lead so that if she reached down to eat grass, her head would sort of bounce up. She tried to reach down for grass twice, as soon as we left her paddock. Then she took one step with me: Click! Two more steps with me: Click! And we were able to move along nicely together, just like we practiced, clicking and rewarding along the way for not pulling me around the barn.

We got to the ring and I could tell that Matilda was a little distracted by the new surroundings. I had originally planned to attach her to the longe line, but why bother? We didn't need to do any real distance work today. I left the regular lead on her and asked her to "back", her favorite and most comfortable behavior, to get her into a familiar, working frame of mind. She walked forward, past me. I got in front of her and asked her to "back" again. She looked at me, looked around her and walked forward, past me. Huh. At least she thought about it the second time.

We went through that pattern a few times before she finally took that little, teeny, tiny step back and once she heard that first Click! in the ring, she was with me, 100%. We went through several backs and overs, which she did wonderfully, to get her used to the idea that the same sort of stuff is required of her here, too. We spent some time walking together and I made sure that she stopped when I stopped and backed with me if I did. It was wonderful, so we got to work on the L.

We started with the poles quite wide, a little wider than what you see in this picture, and I guided her through the L, with me walking backwards and her forwards, so that she could get a sense of the shape (and because that is what the book told me to do). I clicked every time she walked through the poles without hitting one. By the third time through, she was trying to walk through the L ahead of or without me, so it was time to start working on backing through them.

We worked in little chunks as I took her to the beginning and walked her forward a few steps, then told her to "back" as she backed up, I clicked and treated. We did that a few times, moving closer and closer to the corner. We worked forwards and backwards through the corner, using a series of "come", "over" and "back" (see how useful all that work is becoming?!) to maneuver her large body through it and then walked forwards and stopped at the end.

I looked at her and asked, "Do we need to do that again, or are you ready to try and back through the whole thing?" She didn't bite me, so I assumed she was ready to try and back through the whole thing. And that's what she did. I told her "back", "whoa", "over", "whoa", "back" (just one step) "whoa", "over" and "back" and she was through. She never touched a pole. She never moved without my asking. I never had to physically move her or hold her, the lead was always loose between us.

We did it a second time. Same thing. I moved the poles in, to challenge her, so that she only had about 6 inches on either side of her if she stood dead center. She still backed through without touching a pole. We did it one more time before we took a break. That last time, she started backing up before I asked her. I was starting to become dead weight on the line.

I walked her over to the side of the ring and stopped about two feet away from the grass. She stopped just behind me and waited until I turned to her and said "Go ahead and eat" before moving forward to graze a little. Amazing.

Back to work. Up until now, we had been going through the L-Shape so that she was always turning to the left, it was time to try the other direction. This was not as successful. Of course, I started with the poles in the narrower position and didn't work her through it the way I did on the other side, but she should have instinctively known what to do, right?

After a few unsuccessful tries (she kept stepping on the poles and walking outside the L) I widened the L to where they are in the reference photo above. I still didn't take the time to do the detail work that we needed (I was running out of carrots), so it stayed pretty rough.

One time, she was really lagging in doing the "overs" that I was asking her to do and I got a little frustrated at her "stall tactics". It wasn't until she had made the full 90 degree turn that I realized I had put her in the wrong direction! She was aimed to exit the L going forward, not backward. I apologized profusely but it's nice to know that she will listen to me and do as I ask even when she knows it is wrong.

When we got the right back turn close enough (she was only stepping on or outside of the poles 2-3 times), we decided that there were only enough carrots to get us back to the paddock safely, so we stopped for the day. I realized that I had left my camera in my car and wanted to take my lovely reference shots before we went back down to the paddock, so I unclipped the lead and let Matilda graze in the far corner of the ring while I went to get the camera.

When I returned to the ring, I began to worry that I had done a bad thing. I envisioned myself walking up to Matilda in order to snap on the lead only to have her run off and have to chase her down. My concern was such (she has broken out of this ring before, you know) that there was only one thing to do: stand in the middle of the ring, stare at the L-Shape and ignore the potential problem while deciding where to stand for my artistic reference photo.

I stood there pondering, with the lead hanging over my shoulder, for a moment. When I looked over, to see if Matilda was still munching away in the corner, I was shocked to see her slowly coming towards me. I just looked at her and said, "Are you KIDDING ME?!" She stopped about a foot away from me: CLICK! and I clipped the lead on and asked her if she wanted to go ahead and try the L to the right one more time, if I agreed to help her more. Once again, she didn't bite me so I assume that means "yes."

We did it one last time, this time I held her head a little to help keep her "back" straight (it tends to go on a diagonal). We went very slowly and carefully, we must have both realized during our break that we had been a little sloppy in our previous attempts, and made it through the entire L without hitting or stepping outside of poles. Actually, she clipped one with her front hoof as she took her last step out of the L.

We walked back down to the paddock with one big pull and one stubborn stop when she wanted to go left up a hill instead of right down to the paddock, but we got through that stand off without injury and she didn't try anything after that.

I was so delighted and impressed with Matilda today. I was prepared to struggle through this new exercise, prepared to be patient and determined not to get frustrated. Matilda just breezed through it. Next quiet day, you know we will be back in that ring. We'll work through backing to the right slowly and properly and it will be as good as backing to the left. This is the last thing in our first chapter of exercises in Kelly Marks' book (except for standing still, which we will just have to chip away at over time). I have to look at the next chapter to see what we will need to accomplish. I have a sneaking suspicion that we may have incidentally touched on some of the next to do list already. I'll look at it over the weekend and see what is to come!

A Ho-Hum Day?

2011-04-12T15:21:00.004-04:00

I went to the barn yesterday, but had forgotten that it was big equipment day. New sand was being put into the ring, large trees were being cut down and the grass cut. The horses didn't seem bothered by the commotion, but I bagged the day anyway. I did give Matilda one of the apples that I had forgotten to bring her last week. I didn't even ask her to do anything for it!

Today was a ho-hum sort of day. I remain unclear as to what to do next, so we spent our time reviewing and refining. I made sure that Matilda moved back when I said "back" and over when I said "over". She just does better and better.

I tried to get her to back further away from me, but she just wasn't happy going more than a few steps. If I moved with her, walking into her while telling her to back, she goes and goes.

We continued walking together. I am clarifying that she needs to walk on my right (even though the carrots remain on my left) if she wants to get rewarded. She only bit my left leg once!

She also stops when I stop and if I back up, she either backs up with me or adjusts herself to face me. That's pretty neat, I must say.

I didn't feel like bringing a lot of stuff into the paddock with me today, so I had to be creative in order to mix things up. I decided it would be cool if Matilda lifted her feet high in the air, one at a time, like circus horses and elephants. I don't know that there is any functional reason to do that, but we might get some groovy looking dances going.

I love starting work on new stuff. I love watching her work out exactly what she needs to do to get that click. Today I only clicked if she lifted her right foot. It didn't matter if she was moving forward or backward or side to side, every time the right foot lifted there was a click. It took a lot of clicks for her to even remotely figure out what was going on. By the time I ran out of carrots, however, she was almost exclusively moving the right foot.

I am really nervous about asking for more before I am 100% sure Matilda understands what's going on. I wanted to start asking her to hold the foot up longer or higher, but I just wasn't convinced that she was ready for me to push her. If I push to soon, she can get frustrated and all the foot movement goes away. She will give up and the behavior is extinguished. So for today, I remained content to reward any foot movement. I did see signs of the foot hanging in the air a little longer here and there but nothing really dramatic.

Another fun thing today was my husband Ron's visit. He hasn't been to the barn in an age and it was good to see him out and about. He got to see some of Matilda's back and over behaviors and seemed suitably impressed. He also had the opportunity to ask her to back and she performed for him too! I even let him give her the end of work apple.

I guess if this is what a ho-hum day is like, we'll take it!

An Overview

2011-04-10T17:51:00.004-04:00

I realize it has been a while but I promise I am not so far behind as one might think. The week of March 28, I didn't make it to the barn at all so I had nothing to report.

Last week, I did get to the barn three days but found myself to be a bit at sea. (I even forgot to bring Matilda's apple two days in a row! ACK!) Matilda and I have reached a plateau of sorts and I am floundering, trying to figure out where to go next. I can see where we are, sort of. I know my long-term goals, but finding a short term goal and planning a course to get from here to there, out of where we are now, is escaping me. I go back to the barn tomorrow and I still am unclear as to where to go next. This concerns me.

I do, however, have accomplishments to tell you about, things that happened or that I came to know in those last three days:

First and foremost, all of Matilda's beloved behaviors are beautifully intact. Even after that week off, she remembered everything. They are also becoming more and more reliable; I mean that when I say "over", more and more often I am getting an "over" without having to stand and watch a half a dozen "backs" first. She is very slow in coming to me when I ask, but I am really not worried about that. It's not like with a dog, I can't foresee any circumstance in which I would want her to gallop, canter or even trot up to me and stop in front of me, just short of running me down. The fact that she comes at all is something of a coup, let her take her time.

Wednesday we spent a lot of time playing with the ball (since I couldn't figure out what I really wanted to do, that seemed like a safe bet). I am happy to report that she can pick up the ball with ease and fling it. Most of the time she flings it at herself but hey, who am I to judge. We did hit a spot where she was flinging it in my general direction. I could trap it (a soccer reference for A) and kick it back to her. We did it several times and it was really fun until she flung it to the side and it rolled into the paddock next to her. Kim has got all the electric fences working at My Barn so I had to go all the way around from gate to gate in order to retrieve the ball. We lost our momentum and she flung the ball at her knees thereafter. sigh. It was fun while it lasted.:D

I think that the most important stuff to tell you about happened on Tuesday. It was Tuesday that I realized just how confused I was/am. I stopped to think about it but I can't do that. If I try to stop and think, Dear Matilda starts offering behaviors. Back and forth, weaving side to side. When I don't acknowledge or reward those behaviors, those ears start to pin back and the shoving and nipping start. In order to keep my arm bruises to a minimum, I just started walking and she walked with me, of course. We walked and I clicked and rewarded for a while before I really started recognizing what was happening.

Remember a while back when she would constantly cut me off and could only walk nicely next to the rails of the paddock? Well, no more. I walked all over that paddock, in weaving and zig-zag patterns, and she stayed with me, her shoulders just behind me. She doesn't stay on my right, in fact she seems to prefer walking on my left. That's not proper horse etiquette, but it's good dog etiquette. Maybe she knows it is more comfortable for me. At this point, who knows??

When I tuned in to what was going on, I was truly amazed. I would turn suddenly into her, lightly bumping her shoulder, and she would STOP and wait for me to pass before picking up her walking position again. Once, I stopped short and she bumped into me. Dear Sweet Matilda then took an immediate step back and stopped until I walked on and she could walk with me. It was as if she bounced off me, not into me.

In all our time walking together on Tuesday, not once did she touch me or the carrot pail. She was incredibly respectful and I was amazed and delighted. She was pushier on Wednesday but I don't care. I am holding onto Tuesday.

So, where do we go from here? I'm just not sure right now. I can't go from C to Z with nothing in between and it's the in between parts that are temporarily out of my grasp. I'll see what unfolds tomorrow and take it one day at a time. In the meantime, I will love this horse and be grateful for the signs of respect that she is giving me.

Oh, one more accomplishment: I finally found her sweet spot. Under her head, from her chin to her throat. I can rub and scritch that spot all day and she will never get sick of it. On Wednesday I sat on the sitting rock in her paddock to try and think things through before I started working with the ball. She had her head in my lap as I scritched and rubbed and rubbed and scritched. She would move her head away for a moment or two, but then put her nose right back on my knees so that I could start the rubbing and scritching again. :D If all else fails (which it won't) at least I have that.

Changing Directions

2011-03-23T18:20:00.004-04:00

Today was more of the same from yesterday, but I started with a twist. I always do some review with Matilda right at the beginning to see what she is going to be like and get us both on happy, solid ground with the familiar. I really had no plan for today and when I looked at Matilda I just couldn't bring myself to ask her to do anything. She was watching me (and the carrot pail) so I just put my hands behind my back and said "What do you want to do today? Show me something." Bet everyone can guess what she did. After some careful consideration, she backed up. Her favorite.

Then she stopped and came forward.... so she could back up again. This went on for a while before I got bored, stopped clicking for backing and said, "Show me something else". Of course, Matilda can't understand me, so she continued backing and coming forward and backing. When she realized I wasn't clicking for it, she stopped and thought about things. (You can actually see the wheels turn). She tried a few more times and was getting frustrated with her ears pinned back and trying to bite the pail. (Yes, back to that, but still not as aggressive as she used to be).

She needed some help and guidance from me. Standing directly in front of her, I took one large step to my right. She followed, stepping to her left with her front feet in order to mirror me. Click! I went back the other way, she followed again. Click! We did this again and again, back and forth. I only looked for movement from her front feet, since I was doing something a little different in not applying physical pressure to her side.

We worked this little project until I could shift my weight onto my right foot, throw my thumb over my right shoulder like a hitchhiker, tilt my head right and say "over" and she would step out to the left. Throw everything the other way and she would step out and to the right. It was like a little dance. I was shifting my weight from side to side and she would step out, cross her leg over and bring her feet together. I thought that was pretty cool.

After a while, though, I wanted more. I really wanted her to move her entire body over in that lateral step that we've been working on. To see if we could take it to the next level, I threw my weight onto my right and said "over", like we had been doing, she took her step but this time no click. I just stood there and waited to see what she would do next. She took another step, but only with her front feet. I had to reward the effort. Click!

We continued on, with me holding out longer and longer, waiting for the hind feet to do something. They finally did but what I ended up with was not really what I was looking for. Rather than moving her entire body sideways in a sort of parallel motion, she would move her front feet a couple of steps sideways and her hind would simply follow making it more of a turn and walk forward rather than the true lateral movement I have been talking about.

That description is a little confusing. Let me rephrase: Basically, every time I shift my weight, she is actually changing direction (with her head towards me, yay!) and walking a step forward. I can see that this could be a really cool thing down the road, if I can keep my focus and stay consistent with my cues and rewards. I hope that makes sense, I don't know how else to describe what she was doing.

We moved back to the hay feeder and target stick exercise, encouraging her to walk forward and turn/change direction by following the target stick. She was able to complete one full walking circle around the feeder today. That sounds easy but she actually gets frustrated when I ask her to walk more than 3 steps at a time so we built up to it and I was really pleased with her for making it all the way around.

So, what next? I am going to keep on with what we did today. I love that change of direction that appeared. I want to continue working on this stuff that we know pretty well and make sure that Matilda is listening to me. When we work on something for a while, that becomes the only thing that she wants to do, no matter what I am asking. With the back, come, whoa and now (hopefully) over/change of direction we should have enough of a variety to mix things up and see if she learns to watch, listen and recognize the signals that I am giving.

I will also continue to work on walking in circles and turn/change of direction. Over the next week, I would like to see if I can get her to either walk in a circle around me without the feeder or walk around the feeder without the target stick. That's a little ways off but we'll see. Anything is possible, it seems.

Now, with two ways of asking her to change direction, I will have to make a decision as to which word I want to use so that I am using the same one all the time, whether out in the paddock or around the feeder with the target stick... or maybe I will ditch both and say "change!" I will have to decide quickly so that I don't spend any more time using the "wrong" word. I guess I can't make things anymore confusing for her. Or can I??

What's My Motivation?

2011-03-22T20:26:00.003-04:00

Since I had only been at the barn for 1 day in the last week and a half, yesterday was a quiet day of review. No halter or longe line, just the whip, the clicker and (of course) my little pail of carrots.

I was pleased to find everything more or less intact, though her reactions were a little sluggish.

I noticed on my last visit that the halter allowed me to hold her head and prevent her from moving forward when I asked for "over". I continued that experience, by putting my hand on her nose when I asked her to step sideways. It really helped me to gain a little control over the movement. I would love for her to be able to perform this action without me putting any hands on her, but for now accept that I have to give a little help: pressure on the side and hold her head.

She did very well when I tried to send her forward, but wouldn't stop walking away. As soon as I started approaching her haunch, she walked away, no matter what body language I tried to send. She obviously reached the point wherein she understood "the game" and was anticipating my requests. This day was set aside for me to see what Matilda remembered, what I remembered and spend some time thinking about where to go next, so I didn't try to fix anything, just let her succeed at everything she tried and took it all in.

A round hay feeder, like the one in the picture, sits in Matilda's paddock. While I was checking things out yesterday, I thought about that feeder and wondered if I could use it somehow. Perhaps to help Matilda walk around me in a circle? A plan formed in my mind to change things up once again.

This morning I came into the paddock with only my clicker, pail and target stick (remember that thing?). No whip. We started, as always, with a review.

Matilda did PHENOMENALLY well. Back, Come, Over (with my hand putting pressure on her side but without my hand on her nose) and stop/whoa. I wasn't too demanding with it, ie I would only ask her to stop when she was already stopping, but she was so.... present and with me. I'm not sure how to describe the feeling I got from her but I was very proud, to say the least.

We also reviewed with the target stick because we haven't used it in a while. She absolutely remembered it and I couldn't put it in a place too challenging for her. Even when it was too high for her to actually reach, she put the stick between her teeth and pulled it down to a level where she could grab the end.

We finished with the review and I stepped into the middle of the hay feeder, which is about 4 feet in diameter. She came over to it and I held the target stick about a foot away and said "touch", she took a step forward and touched: click! We progressed like that until I realized that she wasn't walking forward so much as she was stretching, trying not to move her feet, to the target. Ah, the fine points of clicker training, since I want her to learn to walk in a circle when I say "walk" I need to CLICK when she is WALKING, even if I use the word "touch" to get her moving forward. That way she will know that I want her to walk to the target, not just touch it, I had only been clicking when she touched the target. So much to keep in mind and figure out here.

Needless to say, within two or three clicks she was walking a quarter to half way around the feeder every time I put out the target stick and said "Matilda, Touch" followed by "Walk". She would even follow the target if I pulled it away from her to entice her into a few more steps around our small circle.

The next layer was to start getting her to change direction. A much desired trait when changing directions is that the horse turns with head towards you, rather than rump. In the current configuration, I knew she would keep her mouth aimed in the direction of the carrot pail, but how to get her to turn? This was an easy one.

I put the target stick 2-6 inches behind her rump. It was so much easier for her to change direction to get to the target faster than going around the feeder. As she backed and started changing direction (with her head facing me) I simply said "turn" and clicked. After she completed the turn, I would move the target away from her so that she had to turn and walk a couple of steps before achieving her ultimate goal of touching the target.

I am in no way saying that she gets "walk" or "turn" but having her walk around me in a circle and turning like this is so much closer to my final vision of what it will be like to longe her and this is so much easier and more positive for her that I will continue on this path. With this method, her motivation is dramatically shifted from going away from something she fears to going towards something. Why didn't I do this before? I guess I shouldn't complain when Matilda loses focus, I do it so well and so often. sigh.

There's one more thing that I noticed over the last couple of days and that is Matilda's relative gentleness. I swear, she hasn't touched me in two days. I was so surprised, when I finally realized this yesterday, that we spent some time just clicking and rewarding when she would not touch me or the pail. She reached her nose forward but stopped an inch from my tummy then, instead of punching it like normal, she would pull her head back. It was the same this morning. She would reach for the pail or me and then stop and pull back, sometimes even step back. I wonder how long this has been going on without me noticing. I wonder if it will continue. I do find Matilda to be wonderfully amazing.

Moving Forward

2011-03-20T21:13:00.008-04:00

Wednesday last week was the only day that I could make it to the barn. I went in and knocked all the dirt off of Matilda's back and sides while she munched hay, as usual. I didn't pick up her feet as it had rained the day before and they were super muddy. I just figured I would work on that another day. Getting ready to work, I got my little pail, went to the center of the paddock and called her to come. She totally ignored me. Hadn't done that in a while. After debating for some time whether I should try to coax her into work or just come back later, I decided to just come back later.

It started out as another mish mosh of a day. When I came back to the paddock to work, my horse, Bella, was in with Matilda. I ended up standing outside the fence and clicking and rewarding both horses for looking away from the carrot or backing up. I'm fairly sure this was confusing to everyone and it didn't last long, especially when, every time I took out a carrot,
I could see Matilda doing her job and backing up as Bella continued to grab for the carrot.

I put Bella back safe in her stall so Matilda and I were aloneto work. We started with some review of our now familiar exercises. Matilda was slow in response, but did well. I was absolutely tickled when I asked her to "back" and she started side stepping left and right! It was the first time she did lateral movement without me having to apply pressure to her side. Not what I was asking for, but very cool and something to keep in mind for later on.

To keep building on the work we did last week, I brought in the halter. She did a lot of the work Wednesday with a halter on, while I carried the longe line and whip. Again we were not connected to each other, just adding another layer to the appearance and feel of longing.

Adding the halter seemed to create another breaking point to Matilda's behavior. Once again, I pulled out the longe whip and as I approached her she took off, not quite in a panic, but at a good pace of mixed trot and canter. I noticed that she was pausing to shake her head. I guess we hit a nerve and caused a flashback of sorts by adding this new element.

I followed her with the whip and line, not driving her as I had the first day I had introduced her to it, but following slowly at a walk while holding the whip and line up for her to see clearly. As before, the "chase" went on for a while but came to an end as she quietly accepted my approach and I went through the process of touching her all over with the tip and lash of the whip. Clicking and rewarding throughout.

Once she was quietly accepting the whip, we began trying to send her forward. I won't go into the details except to say that it was the exact same process as described in my last post, from tickling to tapping to cracking. The only difference being that this time when I cracked the whip and she finally moved, she trotted. No walk. We worked our way through this sloppily. She wouldn't always let me get close to her right away and I would have to do a little bit of "chasing". Sometimes she would take one step at the walk and I would click to reward just as she picked up a trot and ran away or I would click but she wouldn't come back to me to get the reward.

I spent an extra long time with Matilda that day and we worked back to where we had been the previous week, only better. I could gently touch her hind quarters with the tip of the stick portion of the whip (no cracking necessary) and she would walk forward, turn to the right, stop and face me until I asked her to come in to me. But I didn't stop there.

If I am standing on Matilda's right and send her forward, she should turn right so that eventually she would be going around me. Therefore if I am on the left, she should turn left. I noticed Matilda only turned right, so I got a head start on the left turn too.

I started standing on her left and tapped her gently on the rear. As soon as she started forward, I had to back up, stick my hand in the bucket (a now familiar noise to her) and say "Matilda over here" to bring her attention and head around to the left. Following up with a click as she turned her body to face me. We couldn't do a lot of this, but it was a start.

We worked long and hard on Wednesday and I haven't been able to get back to the barn since. I intend to be there tomorrow, however, and am seeing a lot of review in our near future. I am excited to see where she is and what she remembers after the long weekend break.

Two Weeks Ago (The Shame!)

2011-03-20T17:42:00.004-04:00

So, I guess I should just entitle all of my entries "Catching Up" and be done with it. My most avid fan, my mother, says "I don't see Matilda in my Inbox! When are you going to update??" My sister and I bullied her into being e-mail savvy, so I suppose that it is only as much as I deserve. So here it is, Sunday March 20th, and I am trying to look back to what happened the week before last. It's a good thing I take some notes!

Wednesday the 8th was a so-so sort of day. All of the behaviors that we had worked on were there, but they seemed to fade in and out. She would back and stop on cue many times and then I would ask her to back and she would walk away or roll a rock across the ground. The "over" that we have worked so hard on was seen more frequently, but not with any kind of reliability.

I tried to play a mirroring game with her, where she would move with me (she had been doing this a couple of days before when I was trying to do something else, of course) but she just couldn't quite get the hang of it.

I brought out the longe whip. To my delight, she did not run from it. I even wiggled it around her face and she would not budge. You can see from the photo here that she even tolerated my wrapping the lash around her head... clicking and rewarding the entire time, of course.

She was doing so well that I tickled her hind end with the tip of the lash to see if she would move away from it. Nothing. Then I tapped her gently with the end of the stick, still no movement. I swished it past her closest rear hoof, she stood her ground. Hmmm... This was the end of my day and I realized I had created another problem for myself.

She is now so desensitized to the longe whip that I cannot send her forward, away from me. This is, after all, what the whip is supposed to do. It is supposed to be a communication tool between us that conveys, "I want you to move, please." or "Move faster, please." Instead I get NO response at all. It would be nice to find a happy medium.

The next day, the 11th, none of our usual stuff was working. She did a few capable "overs" before she simply shut down on me, so this day became all about sending her forward.

As part of the process of building up to actually longing Matilda, I brought in another piece of longing equipment: the longe line. The longe line is basically a 30 foot leash. This day I had the longe line and whip together. I was in no way attached to Matilda, but I wanted to see if she would have any reaction to it. She had none. I let her smell it and touched her all over with it, lay the end across her back and let her hear the snap of the clip close to her head, where it would be if I were actually attaching it to her. Nothing phased her.

So, standing on her right side, I put the coiled longe line and the clicker in my right hand and the whip in my left. Again this is loosely emulating what I would be doing and what she would be seeing if I were actually lunging her. I stood just behind and to the right of her haunch, looked her in the eye, squared my shoulders (that's the body language the book tells you to use for sending a horse away) and tapped her with the end of the stick part of the whip. She looked back at me. That's all. Just looked at me.

I re-set my body position. This time I tried to get a little glaring, stink eye going as I swooshed the whip behind her leg. Not touching her mind you, just trying to get her to feel the breeze of movement behind her. Nada. (As an aside, I have to say that I was really pleased at how well I had desensitized her to the longe whip at this point.)

So I re-set a third time, standing a little further back, lifted the whip high in the air and brought it down to the ground with a satisfying CRACK! about 4 feet directly behind her rear. Don't you know, she still didn't move?? Brave girl. I moved the whip a little closer and closer and closer until it was about 6 inches away. When I cracked it at that point, she flinched but did not move. I did it a few more time before she took a step forward. A nice walking step forward. Boy was she surprised when she heard "click!" She immediately turned in to me and got her reward.

From there on out it was fairly smooth sailing. I continued to have to combine the strong body language with a strong crack of the whip to send her, but she did it every time. I should say she walked away every time, never in a panic. A far cry from that first day when I lifted the longe whip 10-20 feet away from her and she ran around the paddock at full speed.

She would walk out several paces and stop to look at me when I clicked, then wait for me to lower the longe and collapse my body, rounding up my shoulders (the signal that I am asking her to come into me) before coming for her reward. We did that over and over again, until my little carrot pail was empty.

I should also mention the fact that during our break times, while she is eating hay, I have begun to work on picking up her feet. She is comfortable enough with lifting her feet that, on some days, I can simply tap on her ankle and she will lift her foot with little help from me. I really want to bring the clicker into this to see if I can get her to hold her foot up on her own for longer periods of time but, for reasons that I am sure you understand, I am reluctant to put myself in a position where I am right next to Matilda, with my back to her and a carrot pail attached to my hip. I would like to be able to at least envision this going well (aka not ending with my butt being bit) before attempting it.

Despite all the lack of regular exercise work (back, over, etc) this seemed to be two good days, overall. As always, in writing this, I can see where I could have done things better, made things easier for Matilda, but it is what it is and she will forgive my clumsiness (eventually) and be better and more tolerant because of it. I hope.

New Lessons for Both of Us

2011-03-07T15:09:00.006-05:00

I am going to gloss over the end of last week, summarizing the largely uneventful days to get to today which was much more interesting. Last week, we continued to work on backing and it is really nice now. Matilda is pretty reliable in backing when I point and stopping when I bring my hand down to my side. We have started doing sets wherein she backs 2-3 steps, stops, then backs 1-2 more steps and stops before I reward her. We have also worked on her backing from a start point of 4-6 feet away. Her first instinct, when she is so far away, was to come into me no matter what, but it didn't take long for her to figure out that back means back and I will find a way to get the carrot to her. I think the distance work also helped solidify the hand signals that I have been using.

With "back" going so well, I decided to revisit the lateral work on Friday. Somehow I had convinced myself that she had a handle on this one, but it was evidently not the case. Her front end moves well, but the rear end? Not so much. It's sort of amazing to watch her pivot on those back feet as the rear legs twist into the most uncomfortable looking positions. It should be so easy for her to just pick her feet up and move them, but even when she does occasionally move them, they go in the wrong direction. Mostly she just spun like a top.

Which brings us to today! We started with a little review to make sure that nothing was lost over the weekend before launching into the lateral work. The review went beautifully. She is still only standing still about 5-20 seconds, but that will come with time. Actually she stands still beautifully for long periods of time as long as I don't ask her. sigh. The backing and stopping and coming to me were exactly like they were on Friday. On to lateral work, aka "over".

I went back to the same routine I had when I tried working this before, using the target stick to put pressure on her back hip and literally press her over. I've tried to think of some other way to convey to her what I want and have come up with nothing. Today, however, I think we made a significant breakthrough. I started on her right side and pressed and pressed I rewarded her a few times for moving her front feet sideways, but then started holding out for the back feet. (We've been through this before, I know). She moved those back feet out and over and I clicked. She did it again, click. I tapped and said "over" - not pressing, just a tap - and her whole body went back and forth and then over! The whole body went over. That means she use her front and back feet to shift sideways!

We did this several times, then it was time to switch sides. As I crossed in front of her, I started switching the pail to my other hip, so it would be farther away from her mouth. As I switched the pail over and turned to face her left side, she moved over! With her front and back legs! I clicked and gave lots of carrots. Tap, "over", tap, "over". Now I know how Professor Higgins felt. We did that several times, too, before I switched back over to the other side so that I could be sure I saw what I thought I saw, you know?

There's still a lot of forward and backward movement preceding each sideways movement, but it's there and it is taking less and less effort from me to get it. Hoorah!

It was time for a break, but Matilda did not agree. Once the carrots were gone, she got all nippy at me again. I didn't want to break out the carrots when she was being so nippy and I had brought down the longe whip today. Over the weekend, I thought it might be time to reintroduce Matilda to Mr. Longe Whip. If you go back, you will recall that one of my primary objectives is to be able to longe Matilda safely. You will also recall that Matilda has a bad longing reputation and that much of that reputation was related to the whip. She was manageable on the longe line, but as soon as you picked up the whip shoulders were damaged or lines were broken.

So, I brought the whip into the paddock. No carrots or clickers for Miss Nips-A-Lot. She has had little to no problem with everything else I have brought in, including a dressage whip, so I figured she would not really have a problem with this. Plus it's been so long, she's probably forgotten whatever incident pushed her over the edge with this thing, right? wrong.

I lifted up the whip while I was still several feet away from her and the end of the lash swung from side to side and she took off. I mean took off. I had an idea in the back of my head from a video I had watched over the weekend, I won't go into the details of it, but the upshot is that I followed her with the whip. I didn't run after her cracking it in the air or anything like that, just walked after her letting the whip move, occasionally swinging it back and forth or up and down. She kept running. I was effectively driving her around the paddock, keeping her on the move. I used the whip and my body to tell her to change directions and keep moving. It was quite exciting.

Eventually she gave up. Once she gave up, I was able to walk up to her and touch her all over with the whip. She didn't move a muscle. I felt triumphant until I looked at her face and realized she had simply shut down. What I had done was not a bad thing, it's sort of a traditional method of desensitization, but it was not OUR thing. I didn't want Matilda to just give up and tolerate the whip, I want her to love and explore it. To not be afraid of it, and to learn that it is a way for me to communicate with her.

I had to walk away and get the carrots. I stood in the center of the paddock with the carrot pail on my hip and the whip in my hand and asked her to come to me. No dice. I put the whip behind my back. Nope. I leaned it up against a tree and took a step away from it. AH! but only a couple of steps towards me. I took a couple more steps away from the tree and she came into me. Once she was with me, she was with me. It was a simple matter to walk with her to the tree where the whip was resting. I picked it up and she did not run away - click! I held it near her - click! On and on until I was again able to put the whip all over her body. During this time, she picked up the tip of the lash between her teeth and pulled it a couple of times and, with some coaxing, walked under it as if it were an arch. Lots of rewards along the way. I won't say that she will squeal with delight next time she sees it, but we are on track with it and the whip is going to be a regular part of her life for a while to come. Maybe one day she will squeal with delight at the sight of it, one never knows with Matilda.

When I put the whip up, I put the carrots up and we took a break. She did one of her beautiful stand stills in the center of the paddock as I walked away and threw stuff over the fence and then down to her hay spot. I turned and looked at her and asked her to "come". She thought about it for a while before coming to me, but the hay was right behind me and I fully expected her to walk past me to the hay. I mean, I didn't even have the carrots. She surprised me again and stopped in front of me. I turned around, picked up some hay off the ground and fed her, playing a little tug in the process.

We ended our morning together by doing a little review. She had not forgotten "over" in all the excitement and chaos. (YAY) and I coaxed her into following me to the gate so that I could give her her apple. It may be my imagination, but something seemed to have shifted. She was looking at me with a little more thoughtfulness, no bull dozing. We'll see how it goes in the next few days. Matilda having a little cautious respect for people is a good thing in the long run, as long as it doesn't dampen her sense of trust and curiosity. I'll go back tomorrow, anxious to see which Matilda I meet in the paddock.

Words for the Day

2011-03-01T16:04:00.003-05:00

Heavy storms came through my area last night and I blew into the barn this morning wondering what kind of Matilda I would be faced with today. Would the charged atmosphere and cooler temps have her charged as well, or would she resemble the calm after the storm?

The answer? I was met by the Matilda who likes to sleep on her side in the mud. Thank goodness I don't have to try to clean this up... yet.

When I woke up this morning two words popped into my head: focus and fine-tuning (well, maybe three words, but you get my drift). It is time for Matilda and I to start fine-tuning these behaviors that we have roughly sketched in to her repertoire. Well past time, actually. Time to turn them into something a little less muddy and haphazard.

Today we started with ye olde reliable: "back", with some "whoa" and "stay" thrown in because they fit together. I wanted to be very specific and a little more knit picky about everything I was doing, aka focused. To keep me focused and on task, I made up random rules for the day:

"Back" - point at Matilda, say "Back". When she moves backwards, lower arm and click as the arm comes down. Click after 1 step back, repeat 3 times, then after 2 steps, then 3 steps, etc.

If all goes well, pointing becomes the cue for backing up, lowering the arm becomes the cue for stopping.

"Stay" - work on building time. Don't try to move around her, keep it simple. Take a deep breath and let your body settle, arms at your side, as you exhale and say "stay". Start with a 3 count and work up to 30 seconds.

I came up with those rules in the car, then wrote them down in my little notebook as soon as I got to the barn so that I would remember them. I love detailed rules like this. Not that I am in any way OCD or anything but they are so helpful. They give you clarity and goals and keep you doing the same thing in the same way every time. Good grief, I may write a love song to little, made up rules later.

Following these rules worked. By the end of our time, which was too short, Matilda was taking 5 good steps back after only one request. She continued to frequently offer the behavior unasked for but I think if I can be super patient and wait for her to stop moving completely before asking her to back up, I can eliminate it. I still have a habit of asking her to do stuff before she has really given me her attention. I get bored standing there watching her go back and forth and jump the gun. The fault is mine. As usual. grrrrr.

She was only able to stand still for up to 12 seconds, but I knew that would continue to be a tough one. I suppose it is difficult to understand being rewarded for doing nothing..... I just realized what I did wrong, too. If I want her to stand for 30 seconds, I should click and reward every 5 seconds for 30 seconds, then every 10 seconds for 30 seconds, etc. Not count until she looks like she is going to move then only click and reward once right before she moves... Shoot, I got that all backwards today. I'll try the other way tomorrow. Something to look forward to.

Also, my big sigh and settling didn't work. Every time I looked at her and took a deep breath she started backing up before I could say anything. She did better when I just stood still, looked at her and said "stay" nice and firm. Wouldn't you know that my breathing gets in her way?

I wish there were infinite hours in the day and that I had a magic carrot pail. One that continues to give carrots as long as things are going well, but dries up quickly on bad days. That would be so nice... So would a billion dollars, as long as I'm wishing.

The upshot: This worked today. Very well. Focus and fine-tuning - not just words for the day, but for the week. I plan on continuing to work just these 3 behaviors for the rest of the week. I want them to be habit for her, reliable for me. It's good to know that, just in the time I've been writing this, I have come up with new and (I hope) better ways to work this stuff. We'll see which Matilda I face tomorrow. I hope it's one of the good ones.

Matilda's Day Out

2011-02-25T08:12:00.006-05:00

Yesterday was another odd day. My own horse required most of my barn time and it was Matida's day to see the farrier. We did a little bit of work but nothing exceptional. It was like yesterday-lite. Matilda was still very wiggly, but not as bad. She was able to come and back and do a couple of small side steps. She was also more anxious to cut me off as I moved about the paddock.

The big excitement was visiting the farrier. This was the first time I have led Matilda out of her paddock and, although I have been told she is easy to lead, I was anxious to find out for myself how she would do going up the hill. To my delight, she was very easy to lead. She followed behind and responded quickly when I would catch her head as it went down to try and get grass.

Since I had to bring her up, she was wiggly and I wasn't really in a mental state conducive to focused work, we turned it into a field day for Matilda and I.

No one was riding in the ring yet, so I took Matilda into the ring and put her on the fabled longe line just to see what would happen. She freaked.

I intentionally had a tight hold on the line, keeping only about 10 feet of line between her and me. I knew there was a decent chance of some sort of craziness and I wanted to keep any circle she did small so that it would be more uncomfortable for her and she would be more likely to stop or slow down faster. I was SO glad that I did. I snapped that line on her and told her to walk on. She just flew. She trotted and cantered around pulling and pulling away. I had the line in both hands and was able to quickly throw all my weight back and into my heels as I hung on.

For future reference, here is my personal longing rule of thumb: As long as you can keep your elbows tucked into your body, hang on. If you feel your arms extending and you can't bring your elbows back into your body (TOTALLY different from bringing your body up and even with your elbows-you must be aware of the difference), let go. Letting go is always hard, but sometimes necessary.

Matilda and my horse, Bella, are about the same height and weight, but Matilda uses her bulk differently. I don't know how to describe the difference but to say that when Bella has her crazy moments and pulls to the outside, there is always a sense of control-as if she is working something out. With Matilda it feels like she just wants to get away. She really throws all her weight against you and the line. It's intense. I've never had Matilda on the longe line before, so now I know what all the fuss was about.

The chaos lasted about 5 minutes and then simply stopped. She came into me and stood looking at me. I asked her to walk on and she took two steps, stopped turned in to me and stared at me. There was no way I was picking up any kind of whip today. I want to desensitize her to the longe whip somewhere where I don't feel any need to be connected to her, you know? Without any whip, I could not make her walk away or around me. She did do one walking circle around me, but now I can't remember how I managed to get her to move.

For the most part she would only walk when I walked. If I stopped, she stopped. This sounds sweet, and it is, but there is also a passive aggressive thing going on, in my opinion. She hasn't forgotten what longing is, nor has she forgotten that she hated it. I think she is basically saying, "You want me to walk? Make me. I dare you." Not today, sweetheart, but your time is coming.

So Matilda and I walked around the paddock together. We sniffed all the jumps and walked over the cross rails. We would stop every once in a while and she would eat grass or we would do some backing or side steps. I must admit that it was very nice to have the lead in my hand. Like coming home to my comfort zone of pressure, release and control.... but even with me holding her head she can't move laterally down the pole.

When she got a little pushy, we stopped walking and I made her back up a bunch and stand still and back up some more. She was less pushy after I pushed her around a little bit.

When she was grazing, I backed all the way to the end of the line (maybe 30 feet?) and when she looked up at me I said "Matilda, come" very quietly and she did. All in all it was a very pleasant time for us.

After she saw the farrier, it was time for me to take her back down to the paddock.

I have to pause and give a little barn description here. The short way between the barn and Matilda's paddock is a bit of a steep, short downhill trail. On one side of this trail is the giant, composting manure pile. Now that the weather has been so nice, grass has started growing on the giant, composting manure pile. (You are starting to see where I am going with this, aren't you?)

Matilda was walking nicely behind me and, to my folly, I was looking straight ahead at the gate, my goal. I don't know exactly when Matilda saw the grass, because I was not paying attention, but see it she did. And she wanted it. By the time I realized what was going on, my arm was already fully extended. I gave a short tug to see if I could regain any type of link to her, but had to let go and could only watch her cross the giant, composting manure pile as I yelled "MATILDA NO!" as if that might do any good. (I know, it would have been funnier if she had pulled me in, too bad.)

I thought about going after her, but as I watched her sink chest deep into the giant, composting manure pile, I decided against it. Sometimes you just have to wait and pray and hope that an opportunity presents itself. So I did. I watched her cross the giant, composting manure pile, hoping she didn't get stuck, hoping she didn't set tangled in her lead. I watched her go down the far side of the gcmp, where there was lots of nice green grass... well fertilized. It was there she stopped. On accessible firm ground.

I went AROUND the gcmp, walked up to her, picked up her lead and walked her back to the paddock as if nothing had happened (although by now I had picked up a bit of an audience). She didn't balk, struggle or try to get away again. It's as if her brain snaps, sometimes, she goes nuts and then immediately becomes an angel. Sweet as can be.

My mom reads this blog. She thinks it's funny and says that Matilda and I are "two peas in a pod". I don't know about that. Excuse me now, I have to go yell at someone for no reason and then give them a hug.

Wiggly Day

2011-02-24T17:02:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a very wiggly day for Matilda. It was difficult to see any clear movement, which makes it difficult to click and reward. I was not able to complete the comfort touching exercise that went so well the day before because she just kept walking away.

We started off by taking a stroll around the paddock. Like Tuesday, she rushed and cut me off a couple of times but did fall into a nice placement with her shoulder just behind me. We were actually able to work on a few specifics, such as not having her nose attached to my hand - clicking whenever she would move her head away.

She did really nice work with this as long as I walked along the fence line, but as soon as I tried to move into the interior of the paddock, in a little more challenging pattern than a series of straight lines, she got really pushy and we quickly moved on.

I brought one of the lighter jump poles into the paddock to check on her lateral work. The idea is that you move her along the pole sideways, keeping her front feet on one side of the pole and her back feet on the other. It was clearly to soon. The pole just made it more evident that every time I ask her to move sideways or "over", she moves in almost any direction but to the side. We quickly moved on. (Am I repeating myself?)

It wasn't too long after that when we got to the point where Matilda just started trying stuff. I couldn't lift a hand or speak a word before she would start offering anything and everything. Little pieces of every behavior we have worked on, but all at the same time. She ended up just circling around and around me in something that looked like a series of awkward and sloppy turns on the forehand (turning around her front feet) and turns on the haunches (turning around, you guessed it, her back feet). (We don't even GET to those until Chapter 2!) Not necessarily bad stuff, but not even close to what I wanted. In lateral movement, I really want her to move AWAY from me, not AROUND me. Especially when she is not giving me a chance to ask for anything and my nose is 3 inches from her side... It really must have looked quite silly, come to think of it.

When I didn't click, she became frustrated and started nipping at me. I gave her 2 chances to stop and settle and then had to leave her. There was no focus and we were going into a behavioral death spiral.

Now, I have to tell you in Matilda's defense that Wednesday was a very different day. Typically I work with Matilda sometime between 9:30 and 11:30, just after she finishes her morning meal. Due to happenings with my own horse, I did not start with Matilda until about an hour and a half before her evening meal. We certainly have not worked together long enough for her to focus through heavy distractions such as an impending meal time. The important thing about the day: work was done and time was spent together. We'll do better. I know it.

A Beautiful Day

2011-02-23T05:00:00.003-05:00

I declared Monday a non-working, face time day. I went to the barn and tried to just spend time with Matilda and her paddock mates, my own horse Bella and a new pony Lady. It was a beautiful day to sit under a tree and read a bit, but that proved difficult with Matilda's nose in the book. Occasionally I would get annoyed by her closeness and ask her to back up or do a little side step and she did. Once after she moved a little she was so still that I started touching her all over. I was able to pat her from her nose down her neck, back, belly and legs. I think I forgot to mention last week that I did some clicker training to get her to allow me to touch her cheeks without fussing and it worked. I did a nice massaging rub down on her and she stayed perfectly still for it. Of course, I had no carrots and that helps with this sort of thing.

Unfortunately, this was a fleeting moment. Matilda and Bella were not happy with their new friend Lady and, for the first time, I became very nervous in the paddock as they chased, bit, bucked and kicked at each other. Lady was removed from the paddock and I left shortly thereafter, grateful to have had no expectations for the day. While Matilda did not seem particularly fussy with me, that is not the kind of energy I want to work with.

Tuesday I built on the good things of the previous day. I entered the paddock without carrots and asked Matilda to come to me, which she did: YAY! I asked her to stand still and began laying my hands on her, petting and massaging (This is an actual exercise from the book: The Comfort Touching Exercise). I brought the soft brush with me and after I had finished the exercise, I started to brush her. She balked a little when I tried to brush her face, but not as much as I had anticipated and she didn't move her feet. In fact she stood beautifully through the whole thing. I was very proud.

I don't know what else to say about the day other than that Matilda was near perfect. She backed, came, stood still and moved sideways. Now, I relaxed my demands for that sideways movement for today. I didn't worry about how big the movement was or whether or not she moved forward while moving laterally, I just clicked for any kind of lateral movement when I pressed her side and said "over". She's getting more comfortable with that, on both sides, so I might give her one more day before I start trying to fine tune the movement.

We walked together a little bit and Matilda went back into her rush and cut me off mode, but I stood my ground and backed her up and out of my way. After doing this 2 or 3 times, she stopped cutting me off. She was still walking a little fast and ahead of me, but as long as I am not looking at that wall of white, I'm feeling pretty good today. Yep, this is all I'm looking at when she steps in front of me.

I should also mention that once I had the carrots with me, she did not stand still quite as well. That being said, I was able to work it until I could walk from her left side then out in front and around to the right side, a step in to lay my hand on her, then back out and around to the front without her moving.... I may need to start timing them, as the book gives me goals of 1 minute, 5 minutes and one other one I can't remember. I hope it's not 10 minutes of standing still, yikes.

After a break, I decided we should spend the rest of the time playing with the ball. We've decided to see if she can pick up the ball and toss it to me, eventually. She did pick up the ball a couple of days ago, but not by the convenient handle. I made that a possible goal for the day. Starting out by clicking for touching the ball, we worked up to picking it up in her teeth, but she was grabbing the round side, not finding the handle. I went ahead and clicked for picking it up anywhere a few times and then zoned in on the handle. It wasn't long before she touched the handle while she was rolling the ball around trying to figure out what she was supposed to do. Not long again before she was picking it up, shaking and flinging it around. We'll build on that later until she's flinging it in my direction! A very good day.

Catching up part 2: Thursday

2011-02-19T11:21:00.006-05:00

Did I mention that this week was absolutely, stunningly beautiful? Sunny and in the 60's and 70's. Wonderful. But that has nothing to do with anything else, so onward.... (I love .....)

Yet another Matilda met me on Thursday. This one was petulant. On the drive out to the barn, I went through the same mental routine and was determined to have a pleasant time with Matilda no matter what. She had apparently gone through a mental routine of her own and decided to test me.

I try to spend a little time with Matilda, but without carrots, first thing. I kick the ball or scritch her (She's much more amenable to contact when I don't have carrots. Brat.) and just relax. I'm starting to realize that this is also a good way to gauge her mood before we actually get into work mode.

On this beautiful Thursday, she walked right up to me and checked me for food. Our basic mauling scenario. I shoved her away and started playing with the ball. She didn't even look at it, just walked up and nosed me all over again. "Please, not another Monday," I thought. I walked away and she came after me, then passed me, then cut me off. Things were not looking good. We worked this out a little although I had to press her back, whereas yesterday all I had to do was point and say "Back".

When we got to a nice sunny spot, I started to give her what I thought was some nice scritching. This is when Matilda showed me something new.

She walked away and turned her backside to me. She didn't go back to her hay spot or feign interest in the ball or nose around the ground, ignoring me. She simply turned her "back" to me. Her head was up and she was watching me over her shoulder as she stood there, unmoving. I really didn't know what to do with that. She was making a loud and clear statement about how she felt today, that's for sure. If I hadn't been so surprised and perplexed I probably would have just fallen on the ground laughing.

After a moment, I realized that she was not going to move on her own, I was not going to go get the carrots while she stood there (I suppose) pouting and I had brought my camera with me. I didn't take a picture of that moment, I wish I had, but this one is similar to what I was seeing from her.Since I had my camera, I wandered around playing, taking pictures of interesting stuff in the paddock. She continued to watch me over her shoulder for a while, before moving back to her hay and I had a decision to make. Apparently Matilda was in a mood, so did I get the carrots and start in on work? I felt like that might be giving in, so I went the other route and left her. This is a difficult thing for me to do.

If I could be at the barn all day, every day I would just come and go, working with Matilda in little bits throughout the day. But I can't. I have 3 days... 3 mornings. I have a routine. Walking away is so hard, we have so much to do.

I came back later and we attempted some of the basic things that she had done so beautifully on Tuesday, but 'twas not to be. Every time I moved a hand she nosed it. The quietness was gone from her body. Another decision to be made. This time I didn't leave, but I made an abrupt change to the plan and focused on the ball.

I kicked it over to her and when she put her nose on it: Click! Within a few minutes of clicking, she was actually able to pick up the ball with her mouth and shake it a little. I was enjoying watching her figure it out. Then she was done. I could just see the disconnect in her face. I might have been able to work with her on something else, but why risk the frustration and possible mauling. Remember, I was determined to keep a positive attitude today. She had started on something new and done pretty well, especially when you consider how the morning began. Let well enough alone.

It's obvious that Matilda and I still have some serious relationship building to do. Things are improving, however, and I learned many valuable lessons this week. A few of them are:
1) Give Matilda your time and attention by making a conscious effort to be relaxed, not rushed.
2) Be willing to walk away.
3) Be willing to change things up radically instead of putting your head down, barreling through and forcing things that are probably not going to happen.
4) Get sunscreen.

Another thought has occurred to me since Thursday:Are our bad days the ones when I haven't seen Matilda for a day or two? Do our good days tend to be the few days when I have been able to work with her on consecutive days? Something else that bears observation and awareness going forward.

Catching up part 1: Monday and Tuesday

2011-02-19T10:54:00.002-05:00

Monday was a total wash. Matilda and I were completely out of sync and she had either forgotten or was refusing to give me even one side step. She started walking ahead of me and cutting me off again, which I don't think she had done in a few days. Frustrations ran high on both sides and it was not a day that is really even worth mentioning other than to say I went and we tried.

On the way home I thought about the fact that I really felt rushed from the moment I got to the barn and had been anxious to get home. hmmmm.....

Tuesday I spent my 45 minute drive in reminding myself that there was nothing pressing at home. It was going to be a beautiful day and that I had all the time in the world. I also reminded myself not to be frustrated if Matilda moves forward and sideways at the same time. Perfection is not required...

If you can believe it, it was a much better day. Matilda was quiet, calm and respectful. Rather than jump into the lateral movement, we started slowly with all the things that are comfortable to us: Come, back, stand still and a little bit of touch the target stick. We walked together and she stayed pretty well to my right and behind so that I could click and drop carrots every few steps.

After all of my consternation last week, she stood beautifully, allowing me to go from side to side and even walk up and touch her side without moving away from me. No props required on Tuesday.

I don't know how to describe the feeling other than to say that there was a quietness about her that certainly wasn't there the day before.

Since I was trying to keep things simple and relaxed I decided not to bring target sticks and dressage whips into the paddock to tap or press her over this time. I just used myself. I walked over to her good side and put one hand against her face (a feat in and of itself) to keep her head straight and pressed against her side with my fist just behind her front leg, where the girth would be. She offered all the usual straight forward and straight backward movement, but I kept the pressure on until she moved a lot forward with a little to the side. We only did that a few times before I moved to the right. It was the exact same experience.

After that, we did some neck stretches and I left it at that. It was a very short work day, but pleasant and, as I said before, quiet. Since the day before I had left the paddock angry and exasperated, this was all I could ask for. It was a day for small successes.

We All Have Our Crosses to Bear

2011-02-11T10:02:00.002-05:00

Matilda and her ball. She still doesn't know what to do with it, but I kick it to her and around her... someday she will kick it back to me on her own. At least it gives me something to do while we are not actively working on, well, work.

Yesterday was a change up day, while I am figuring out the stand still thing. (Thank you, those of you who gave suggestions. It is much appreciated.) It's hard to find a healthy balance that avoids monotony while preventing Matilda from becoming a "jack of all trades and master of none." You know, you get bored with task one and move on to task two before she really masters and understands task one.

I really want her to have a good understanding of all the things she is doing, but I didn't think I can face more "come", "back", "touch" and "stay". Fortunately, Kelly Marks' book breaks things down into groups with a sort of checklist of accomplishments. There are 5-6 things in each group and I feel comfortable working on those things in tandem. The tasks in the current group include all those things I've been working on: come, standing still, backing and (today's focus) lateral movement, aka moving side to side.

In addition to starting work on lateral movement, I also re-introduced the dressage whip.

Here is a picture of the three types of whip/crop that are typically used. The short one is a crop, used largely for hunt/jump riders. In the middle is the dressage whip and the big one with the cord is the lunge whip.

I decided to bring in the dressage whip since she is familiar and comfortable with it. I really just wanted to see how she would react to it since she hasn't seen it in a while. It was no problem. She walked right up nosed it and tried to eat it.

The interesting part came when I started touching her with it. She was fine on the left (now known as "the good side"). I could touch her from neck to haunch and down to her knees without event. I could even run the tip of the whip down her back.

When I moved to her right, I could see her skin crawl the moment I touched her. She could stand still as long as I did not let the whip lay against her for any length of time. The challenge was to be able to run it along her back, just as on the left side. I ended up laying the entire whip across her side and following her as she moved forward and back and circled around and around. The second she stopped moving: click! And we moved on from there.

I was, at the end, able to put the whip pretty much anywhere without her moving too much. I even lay it down her face, between her eyes and down to her nose. I tried not to leave it there for too long, lest we take a step backwards, just a second or two. I consider that a triumph.

Onto the lateral work. This is important stuff. It is good for working in close quarter with a horse, as in a stall or trailer. The ultimate goal is to be able to tell the horse "over" with maybe a finger on her side and have her move away. It's also useful when a horse steps on your foot. :)

It was one of those rare days when I was super focused on work and Matilda was not. Let me extrapolate. You may not believe me, but there are actually days when Matilda is thinking and focusing on what I am asking and what she is doing. Her movements are very deliberate and there are more pauses between the motion, not what I would call stillness just pauses.

There are also days when Matilda is just focused on the carrot. Sloppy days of constant motion with no real purpose. The neck and head wrapping around me in various configurations with eyes always on the pail, rarely on me. That was yesterday. That was the day we tried something new and relatively unfamiliar for the first time in several days.

I did not think it was going to be quite so difficult to convey to Matilda what I wanted. On another day it probably would not have been. I won't go through all the details of everything I tried just say that I tapped, pressed and prodded. She moved backwards, forwards and I am pretty sure that there was some more spinning around and around again, as she tried to reach the carrots and I tried to keep them away. I became the pivot point around which she moved and spun, working so close to her body that there was no way to see the big picture of what kind of movement was actually happening. (Fortunately, I am a blonde, so spinning and dizziness don't effect me the way it would a brunette or red head. It is closer to my natural state.)

I could feel the frustration rising up in me so I took the carrot pail and tossed it over the fence. I thought I would see how she did using some basic pressure and release tactics without the distraction of the carrots. This was when we reached a serious impasse. Roots grew out of Matilda's hooves and dug deep into the ground. If I had been working on "Stay" it would have been perfect.

I have tried over the last couple of years to adjust my thinking about my relationships with the animals around me. Tried to start viewing us as working in cooperation with each other, as partners, rather than seeing it as them vs. me, which is my natural leaning. I have done very well with this adjustment, but this was CLEARLY a her or me moment. A battle I had to win.

Again, I tapped, pressed and prodded alternating between the dressage whip and target stick, ultimately leaning against her with my hands/shoulder/body. At one point I looked like that "Far Side" Midvale School for the Gifted comic. The one where the kid is leaning against the door that says pull. She would not budge. She wouldn't even back up!

We reached a dangerous point. I was losing it and she was very close to finding out that she's stronger than me. I needed a moment and some space. The dilemma? She refused to move and I couldn't let her think that she was pushing me around. The solution? I told her to "Stay" and walked away, a little reverse psychology. Whether it was for her or for me, I know not.

She followed me, of course, but by that time I had a little distance. And I still had the dressage whip. Don't worry, I didn't whack her with it, I just waved it under her nose with that nice "whoosh" sound that good whips make and told her to "go". Go she did. She took off to the other side of the paddock at a trot and the battle was won. I had re-affirmed to both her and myself that I had the power to move her where I wanted her to go. I also had the space and time I needed to think about how to break this down for her.

And that's what happened. We broke it down. I had been asking her to move her entire body laterally, taking sidesteps with both her front and back legs. What if I just focused on a sidestep with the back legs for today? Neither of us have paid any attention to her hind quarters yet; when she backs up I am always looking for movement in her front legs. It's time to start giving some attention to engaging those back legs too.

I invited her to come to me. She did but very cautiously (happy dance), and we started in on that right side. I used the target stick to apply pressure to the rear hip and just watched those feet... Back, forward, again and again. Then nothing. I switched to the good side and kept that pressure on. My arms were hurting a little by now, but never fear, she did it. She took one small step to the side with her far leg. Hoorah! As soon as she stepped out, I clicked and released the pressure from her hip.

For some reason, I had it in my head that I really wanted her to take the near leg and cross it in front of the far leg. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I like the look of flexibility or it will be helpful in the future if we ever get to more advanced movement. I realized on the way home that that really had nothing to do with the exercise at hand but it's what I wanted so it's what I pushed for.

And I had to push for it, quite literally. She figured out almost immediately that I was looking for sidestepping, but she was giving me step-touches (stepping out with the far leg and bringing the near leg in next to it) when I was looking for a grapevine (that's a shout out to all of my old show choir/theater geek friends). Once she got the hang of the stepping out, I stopped clicking for that particular movement and kept pressure on the hip. Her sidesteps got bigger and bigger until there was nothing she could do but cross that near leg in front of the far one in order to keep herself lined up and in balance. Click! The connection for her was instant. Within three clicks I could tap her gently on the hip and say "over" and she performed the cross step I was looking for. On the left.

Back to the right. At least this time she got the sidestep a little faster, but not that cross step. We worked it for so long without success that I had to switch back to the left side just to prove to myself (and to her?) that she had actually done it. I hadn't dreamed it. Sure enough, on the left, it's an all too simple tap-cross step, tap-cross step. We did it 3-6 times without fail.

Back to the right. Step, together, step, together, step, together, over and over again. I was not physically capable of putting anymore pressure on that side. Step, together, step, together, step..... CROSS! "Hallelujah, thank You, Lord! Here's your apple. See you next week!" I've never left the paddock so fast.

Sometimes life intrudes.

2011-02-09T17:14:00.003-05:00

So, I've actually been to the barn three times since my last post, but the worries of this world have been on my mind and they have been rather unproductive days. My timing has been off and/or non-existent to the point that I caught myself, at one point, tossing carrots on the ground without clicking at all. Since this blog is about Matilda and me, how she affects my life, not the details of my psyche and innermost thoughts, I've sort of left it alone.

Matilda has picked up on my mood in many ways. The other day she actually bit me. Not nipped, BIT. I lost my temper and left her immediately after that. I didn't give her an apple either. So there!

She started a nasty habit when we walk together, too. She speeds up and turns directly in front of me, cutting me off. I have had a time figuring out how to deal with that one. If I just ignore it and stand still, she's in control and starts the nipping. If I turn and move in another direction, she is effectively herding me.... um, no, can't happen. When I am faced with her side (my eyes are about even with her back - it's like facing a wall of white fur), I know I cannot physically move her out of the way. I have been trying to think of how to get her into the desired position, just behind me and to the right.

Today I realized that I don't need to worry about where she is, I just need her out of my way. We returned to the old stand by: Back up! Every time she cut me off, I simply stood my ground, pointed and said "Back!" then waited until she was completely out of my way before continuing on with my stroll. I need to focus on breaking this particular habit, rather than worry about precision motion right now. Of course, she will only get rewarded for walking in the proper place but I don't need to be pro-actively trying to get everything done at once.

I've also been trying to stop her before she gets ahead of me. As I notice her speeding up, I stop and tell her "Whoa!" Click/treat for stopping, then make her back a step or two before continuing on. This 2 part approach seemed to be working for her today. At least I didn't get bit.

I am realizing again and again how hard "stay" is going to be for her. Matilda is just not used to standing still. It is becoming more and more important for her to understand stillness. I am trying to think of/find something for her to stand on or some kind of visual marker that she and I can both see. Something so that when she moves I can bring her back to that precise spot. I like visual aids:) I tried a beach towel, but my biggest beach towel was too small for her. She also shuffled her feet all over it and just rumpled it up. As important as it is, it is a good idea to leave off concentrated work on the "stay" until the answer to that problem presents itself. I'll do some looking over the weekend and if anyone has any ideas, let me know.

I will say that, even with my distracted self, Matilda is performing "come" and (of course) "back" very well. Those rare moments when she is walking with me, she stops when I stop and say "Whoa" but still has a little difficulty stopping when approaching me. Her "stay" is ok for short periods, but only if I stay directly in front of her or to her left. If I move too far to her right she moves, I think so she can keep her left eye on me. We started working on stretching her neck with her nose all the way to the ground today, using the target stick. She likes to do that, but bounces her head up and down, so next we will work on her extending the time on those stretches... again, stillness.

A couple of other nice things I've noticed, whenever I bring something new into the paddock (books, beach towel, ball) she approaches immediately and checks it out. I like to think that this is a sign that she is beginning to trust me and know that anything I bring to her is for her interest and not her harm. When I threw a ball across the paddock, she didn't flinch at all. She was curious about it and nosed it around but kept looking to me as if asking for direction. I was just hanging out with her at that time, watching her, and when there were no clicks, she gave up on it and left it alone. I was hoping she would play with it; she just didn't know what to do. I'll bring it back into the mix later.

I'll also be bringing a lunge whip into the paddock soon. I don't intend to use it, but I do want her to be well rounded and comfortable with anything that she sees. The whip has been a sore spot for her and I would like to see how she reacts to it after not seeing it for so long.

I am supposed to go back to the barn tomorrow but it may snow tonight. I hope it is a small amount so that I can keep on with Matilda tomorrow.

A Little Madness is a Good Thing (AKA Reading is Bad)

2011-02-01T17:38:00.004-05:00

Unless you are reading this blog, of course. In that case, reading is good:)

I spent some time over the weekend doing some research. I discovered that there are a lot of people clicker training horses and that one could spend a ton of time and money watching DVDs and reading books or articles about clicker training a horse and become an expert without ever having to actually touch a horse. After a couple of hours "following the white rabbit" I had to look away and shut down the computer. I mean, how many little stories can a person read about Suzie Q, who, after 30 minutes with her head shy horse, can now throw the halter in the paddock and the horse will put the halter on all by himself, even buckling it under his own chin! You know the type I mean. Disgusting. I spent 3 days trying to teach the word "touch." Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to know that help is out there if really needed, but equally delighted to continue working things out without such reminders of my novice-ess-ness. (I don't get help with my English either, so there!)

After this, I picked up the original inspiration for this project: Kelly Marks' Teach Your Horse Perfect Manners. I love Kelly Marks. She's a Brit and that's enough to win my affection, but she was also a lady jockey. Too cool for words. With her racing background, she doesn't look down on Dressage, Western or any other riding discipline. I appreciate that deeply.

This book has nothing to do with clicking. That was not originally part of the plan. She outlines exercises using halters and lead or lunge lines and I was going to simply follow her plan as closely as I could. When I read the clicker books over the holidays, several weeks after deciding to take on Matilda, I decided to add that in. Those who know me know I am not a thing of grace. Long leads and ropes get tangled and stepped on when in my capable hands, so I added the clicker into the mix. (Go back to my very first post and remember that Matilda does not have a phenomenal history with the lunge line either.) I am really glad I decided to go with the clicker, I love the freedom that it gives us both, but I am also glad that I went back to Kelly Marks' book to remind myself of the foundation exercises that I was so anxious to get a handle on: come, stand still, backing up, lateral movement, etc.

Don't worry, I'm not giving up on what I was doing....

With ALL of this in mind, today was totally schizophrenic. We worked on (are you ready?) come, touch, back, stop and stay with a little "walk with me" thrown in for good measure. The funny thing is, it sort of worked for us. When one thing got a little frustrating (aka Matilda started nipping at me), we moved on to something else and just kept shifting gears. There were lots of carrots and very few breaks.

The only things Matilda really had trouble with were "stop" and "walk with me". I know that I was asking her to stop without laying the proper foundation. (Let's face it, whenever there is a problem, the trouble is mine. The sooner you accept that fact with a project like this, the better.) I should have inserted the word stop as she was stopping naturally many many times, rather than starting out by asking her to stop while she was still 20 feet away and moving towards me holding a carrot. Fortunately, with this method it is no big deal. There is no punishment involved, so no real negative connotations become attached to a word or action if not performed properly.

As for "walk with me," polite ponies walk on a person's right, the carrot bucket sits on my left hip. 'nuff said. Again, no big deal.

If you want to see a funny expression on an animals face, teach an animal what the clicker means by doing something like target training and then start teaching stay. Up until today, Matilda was only clicked for proactively doing something. Today, I told her to stay and then clicked quickly before she could move. You can almost see the confusion, "But.... I didn't.... Did I move? What did I do?" Over a few minutes (less than 30, take that Suzie Q! HA!) I was able to move a few steps back and forth in front of her and back up several paces without her moving.

The key, I think, in teaching her to stay was watching her feet. If you watch carefully, you can see her start to rock as she thinks about moving back or forward and you have to be sure to click before she gets a chance to lift that hoof. A second key: I had to give her carrots from my hand, otherwise she moved every time I threw a treat on the ground and I wanted her to hold her place as long as possible. She only got my fingers once though. Matilda got this one pretty well, pretty fast. No expectation adjustment necessary, Tinya.

I also made "touch" easier for her today by putting the target behind my back when I didn't want her to mess with it. Pretty smart, eh?

I was really surprised by how well all this stuff worked together today and by how well Matilda coped. Maybe she is a multitask-er like me. The basic pattern was as follows: "Matilda, touch" (immediately after she touches it, put target behind back) "back, stop, stay" (I move from side to side, then back away from her slowly) "Come, stop, back, stop, stay, touch" and on and on. Each time she did what I asked, Click/treat!

Now, this was by no means a perfect performance. As I mentioned earlier, she rarely stopped when initially asked. There were many times when I had to ask for a behavior multiple times and there were other times when she stayed or backed when I said "come." All in all, she did remarkably well (I know, I keep saying that), especially with me throwing so much at her.

At one point, I felt like I was back at school (Ah, Camelot... or Pine Ridge) playing "Red Light, Green Light". I would ask her to stay and slowly back up, then turn my back to her to walk away. As I walked I would here that unmistakable "Clop, Clop" of her dinner plate hooves and turn around to take a step or two towards her "Matilda, Stop! Stay!" We repeated this process all the way across the paddock. She would always stay until my back was turned. I am going to have to turn this into an official game down the road.

I thoroughly enjoyed today, but, more importantly, I believe Matilda enjoyed today. Her ears were moving forward and back, she let me touch her on her nose, she was very attentive and focused. Now, if I can just find a halter that will fit her.....

Never Give Up, Never Surrender!!

2011-01-28T20:26:00.008-05:00

I have an audience for my work with Matilda. I've noticed all these horses coming and watching us. Is it just me or are these stares somewhat judgmental?

I was at the barn Thursday and Friday this week and this will be a summary of both days.

We are still working on Matilda learning her first word, "touch". Thursday was a bit of a mess with no clear progress made. My difficulty was waiting for that moment of focus.

When you work with dogs and they learn a few behaviors and tricks, quite often they will reach a point where they offer every behavior they know, unasked for, in order to get a reward. There are many times when my girls see a treat in my hand and start giving me their paws, barking, twirling and laying down in a "dead dog" posture while I just stand there and watch. Eventually, the dog gives up, sits and looks at you with a big sigh as if to say, "Fine, what do you want?!" At this point I can ask for something and give the reward, but I try to never give a reward for a behavior that I haven't asked for, even if it's the one I wanted.

This has not been the case with Matilda. She never gives up. Neh-ver. That constant motion goes on and on. I watched the head swing back and forth, watched her back up and walk forward, nose, nudge and chew on the target. My heart bled for Matilda as she tried everything she could think of to get those tiny pieces of carrot. She even mastered the quivering lower lip; I started to look for and expect a tear from that eye. oy.

I tried to wait for a moment of stillness that I could speak into, but it just didn't seem to come. My own impatience got the better of me that day and there was no real communication between us. I had to realize my own inconsistencies in trying to push this exercise. If I could manage to be truly consistent, she might have gotten this faster. As I left the barn on Thursday, I considered simply moving on to something more interesting and, on the surface, relevant. I felt like I had spent a significant amount of time beating my head against a brick wall and was beginning to wonder why I was spending so much time on this one, silly thing.

On my drive home, however, I came to an understanding with myself. This is about much more than simply touching a target with your nose or even understanding a word. This is about Matilda understanding focus, paying attention, listening, waiting for me to ask her for a behavior and, God forbid, thinking. I simply can't give up. Then I thought of a new idea that could help Matilda and me understand what is supposed to be going on.

On Friday I reversed my tactics. Matilda was much less interested in my person and my carrot pail (YAY!); she was obsessed with the target. SO today I began by clicking when she left the target alone. Over our time together, this morphed until I was only clicking when she took 2-5 steps back (which we had worked on earlier: thumbs up!) and looked at me.

Sidebar: It's hard to tell when a horse is looking at you. There is a little guessing involved. This is especially true of Matilda, whose ears rarely flick forward.

Once she was backing up and giving me her attention consistently, I added a second click for not moving forward right away. When she was consistently holding that position, a few steps back, I said, "Matilda, touch." She tried a bunch of stuff, backing up some more, touching the carrot pail and my hand, before she touched the target but she did it.

We continued on with that pattern. I clicked for both backing up and giving me her attention and for nosing the target after I asked her. This has been an incredibly slow process, but I do believe it is an important one. Matilda continued to expend a lot of energy moving around randomly, but things improved as the day went on. I found that I was able to create that moment of stillness and I think we are on the right track. I wish I could say, "She got it! We're done with this!" Alas, that is not the case but I think I finally got the method correct and we are actually moving forward.

In our break time together, we are simply building trust. Matilda doesn't trust me and I don't understand her. Between Thursday and Friday, I found out that she prefers a quick, light stroke, as if I were brushing her (imagine that!) rather than any kind of constant contact. She was not comfortable with me touching her anywhere but on her haunches on Thursday. She would turn her head and make a nipping motion at me if I tried anything else. By the end of Friday, using the short brush stroke with my hands, I was able to move from her haunches all the way up to her withers (the base of her neck) before she let me know that she was uncomfortable . At one point she let me rub circles on her sides and perhaps even enjoyed it. Trust is earned and I am certainly paying my dues here.

She won't walk with me as much during our breaks, she prefers standing close to wherever I throw the pail and target stick over the fence. I can only assume she is waiting for me to get back to work. Occasionally I like to squat close to the ground (not recommended, by the way), intentionally making myself a little vulnerable, so that she can check me out comfortably. I have been surprised to find her even more gentle with me in these moments.

Looking back, I can see that there is a lot of cautious give and take between us. It's only been a couple of weeks since we started working together so the caution is a necessary evil. I know it will get better. I love to walk next to my own horse with my hand resting on her back or neck, feeling her movement. I am impatient to find that moment with Matilda, but every time I try she lets me know very clearly "not yet." I will keep trying though.

One last thing that I have added, I have started clicking and inserting the word "come" when she approaches me as soon as I enter the paddock. Teaching her to come when called is on the to do list, so why not? This seemed like a logical start. On Friday, when I came into the paddock to give her the "we're done" apple, she took a couple of steps towards me and stopped, quite a distance away, and looked at me. I didn't have the target stick, but said "Matilda, come" and she began to approach me very slowly. When she was about half way to me, I clicked and tossed her the apple.

A happy accident? Probably, but a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

But I Don't Actually want to WORK!!

2011-01-24T15:25:00.005-05:00

But that's exactly what it felt like today, work, right from the beginning.

On Friday I was amazed that Matilda would leave her hay to come and see what I was up to every time I entered the paddock. Not so today. She completely blew me off and was determined to eat every blessed scrap of hay before coming to check things out.

Unfortunately, with the methods I am using and place that we are working, if Matilda doesn't want to work, there is not a thing I can do about it. I waited. I paced. I sat. I took pictures of my equipment so that you could see my target stick, little white pail and clicker. I thought it would help you visualize whatever you read about here. I probably waited a little too long, but finally got fed up and left. I had other horses to spend time with and could come back to Matilda later.

When I came back, about an hour later, she came right up to me. (Gee thanks, your majesty. Sheesh!) The good thing is that she walked up and touched the target so I knew she hadn't forgotten everything over the weekend. My goals for today were to see how she would do walking with me (aka following the target in motion) and to introduce Matilda to the word "touch".

It was clear that following the target was not a problem today. After a little review, she was easily able to track it and walk along side of me. In fact, I had to really move along to keep ahead of her.

Learning the word "touch" was another matter, for both of us. I suspected that it would not be easy for her to understand that the strange sounds I make actually have meaning, but I thought she would pick it up faster. (I keep saying that. At some point you would think that I might adjust my expectations.) Here again, I think the big part of the problem was that my cues were a little muddy. She was all over the target, the stick and my hands. Touching everything, moving the stick up and down with her nose. I was very careful to only give her the reward when she touched the target after I said the word "touch". I just saw no progress in her understanding. The little light bulb was not going on for her.

We took a break. This was our first break together with no food. Remember, she had already eaten all of her hay. We really didn't know what to do with each other. Interesting. I ended up walking and was pleasantly surprised to find her walking with me in a fairly polite manner. A couple of times she would turn right and, just to see what she would do, I turned left. She watched me walk away and then came after me! Nice. I thought we must be bonding nicely until I tried to touch her face. She apparently doesn't like that. Matilda attempted to bite at me almost every time I moved a hand toward her face. Stroking her back or neck was not much easier. In her defense, we have spent a lot of time working on her moving away from me. I am aware of that fact but it is so difficult, when you want to be kind and someone won't let you be kind to them. This served as a good reminder of just how much work is ahead of me, if we are to realize the vision that I have for Matilda. I made a mental not for the future "work on touching face."

We ended the break by playing a little bit of hide and seek. I hid behind a tree and she came and found me. I believe she thought I had lost my mind a bit at that point. Maybe I had.

It's a funny thing, but now that Matilda and I are spending our breaks together, our second session is much more focused. At least that's how it seems after two tries... that's not a lot, I'll reassess that statement later.

In any event, we started up with the same exercise and, watching her work the target, I realized there was a lot of movement and chaos going on. She never stopped moving her mouth over the target and target stick. She moved her head back and forth touching the target then checking my clicker hand (it's nice to see that she knows where it is and understands enough to listen for it) and occasionally trying to overturn my pail. I was injecting the word "touch" into all this chaos.

A revelation: she's probably not even hearing me. A change in tactics: I went back to standing my ground and waiting. I feel like I do a lot of waiting for sweet Matilda. She stopped biting at the target eventually and went to the old standby: backing up a couple of steps. When she stopped moving, I said very slowly and clearly, "Matilda.... touch." It took a little time, she had to try a few things first, but she took a step forward and touched the target. Click/treat. We did this a few times and I felt that we were right on the cusp of a breakthrough when I ran out of carrots. I could have cried.

It was apparent that Matilda had been a little frustrated herself this afternoon and, with all that is at stake, I couldn't push any further. To push on would risk frustrating her further by asking her to give me behavior that I could not reward nor affirm. She made it clear earlier that contact (scratching, petting, etc.) from me is not enough of a reward for her at this point.... Our day is over. BLAST!

People tell me I have a tendency to anthropomorphize my animals, I don't care. I know that SHE knew she almost had it. When I threw the bucket and target over the rail and walked away, Matilda just stood there, not trying to get the bucket, not following me. She just stood there and watched me walk away. I could feel her saying, "But I almost had it." It's a little devastating to leave her at this moment.

BUT I must think of the positives, right? I have a very good launching point to teach her how to walk with me politely, I just have to affirm what she is already doing now, and I know where to pick up next time. My own teaching problems have been worked through yet again to give me clarity as to the next steps. I feel confident that she will have a good understanding of one word by the end of our next meeting... all is well.

Embrace the Dirt

2011-01-21T15:27:00.006-05:00

Sometimes, you have to ask the question: why do we do the things that we do? With the answer can come renewed energy and focus or new ideas. With that in mind, I made two changes today; the first of which I believe will be particularly significant.

1) Why do we train our animals? There are many answers to that question. The one that helped me out today: so that we can enjoy them and increase their presence in every facet of our lives.

I mentioned before that I was trying to do 2-3 short sessions and leaving Matilda in between to do other things. After my somewhat frustrating day yesterday, as I was planning for today, it occurred to me that this was not a good pattern.

In the few days we have worked together, the second session always seemed weird. Matilda and I sort of lose our mojo in the time apart. I don't think I want to do one long session, but why not stay with her during our break? All I'm doing with her now is trying to teach and create boundaries, but I'm not really spending any time with her, not being a part of her life.

When I work with a dog, we take lots of little breaks. I don't send the dog out of the room at that point. We play together or love on each other, while I talk to the owner, always re-enforcing whatever boundaries have been established in a relaxed, easy-going way. I think an argument can be made that the true bond between animal and people happens during these times. Respect is built through teaching boundaries and discipline, but a true bond is built during the times between teaching.

2) The other change is the introduction of the target stick. Now that I have seen Matilda work with it, I sort of wish that I had started with target training. That's what the experts seem to prefer, but I'm a novice and therefore thought I knew better. There are advantages to her understanding how to back up out of my space, which I will explain later.

In its most basic form, target training is very simple. You just wait for the animal to touch the target (in this case it is a rubber ball on the end of a 4' stick). The trick is to not force the target on your animal. It's tempting, but I want her to engage her noggin, think and figure it out for herself.

I wish I had had a video camera when I first walked into the paddock. She was not happy about that stick. She left her morning hay to approach, but stayed a long ways off, pacing back and forth, checking me out with both eyes and snorting all the while. Signs of discontent, even I know that. She eventually went back to the hay.

This was my moment of temptation. Do I run behind her waving my stick, trying to tap her on the nose? That may be counterproductive. I decided to walk around the paddock, hanging back, waiting for her to come to me. I had carrots, so it was just a matter of time. She came and the first thing she did was check out the target (Click!), well after stepping backwards and forwards a half dozen times. That tickled me to watch her back up so much and so well. BUT you can't go back after that first click. I had to firmly establish in my own mind that the only thing she would get a click for today was touching the target.

Matilda was real mouthy today and had some new tricks up her own sleeve. She is getting very good at turning my little carrot pail upside down. They just don't fall out, thanks to my clever lid engineering. She also thought that nipping at my clicker hand might make something happen. She tried that a lot today. That's not fun, by the way. She was touching the target in between the nipping and pail turning, although not picking up on it as quickly as I would have liked.

I took things very slowly today, especially when I saw that she was having a little trouble shifting gears to the new task. Matilda wanted to be close to me, so the target stayed no more than 2 feet away from my person, always about waist high. She seemed uncomfortable with anything more than that.

When it was time for our break, the target stick and carrot pail went outside of the fence. Just her and me now. I walked back to her hay stack and she joined me as soon as she figured out that she couldn't reach the carrots. As she munched on her hay, my hands were all over her. I was tentative at first, the recent snow and ice and mud have left her in quite a mess and I didn't want to start into a formal grooming yet. At some point I just had to embrace the dirt, it's not like I'm in my good clothes and I might as well enjoy the moment of quiet between us. So I knocked the loose dirt off of her sides and face and scratched all the places that I don't think she can reach on her own. I massaged her shoulders and leaned against her, inhaling that good horsey smell. I believe this was the most important part of our day, truly.

We went back to work and were able to push on until she was touching the target a full 4' away from me. She could touch it all the way down on the ground (a precursor to teaching her to stretch) and about 6-7 feet in the air. I tried to get her to follow it (the beginnings of "walk with me") but she lost sight of the target after a couple of steps and couldn't quite make the connection. So that is where we will pick up on Monday.

One last thing, before I left Matilda, I walked her back to her hay stack to give her one last pat down. She walked right behind me with her nose on the back of my neck and stepping on my heels, even though the carrot pail and target stick were back outside the fence. I thought I would just have to put up with it since I was focused on not doing anything but target training today. Then I remembered that she knows how to back up! I'm allowed to re-enforce what she already knows. I stopped short and turned to face her. You know what that stinker did?? She backed up! I then turned again and walked toward the hay stack, this time I had to encourage her to follow. Which she also did. Makes a girl think that this might work after all.

It happens

2011-01-20T14:02:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I was decidedly unfocused and had difficulty settling into the task at hand. Having had my plans blown apart the last two days, I came into this day with no clear plan and it showed. I was just all over the place, clicking for this and that. We were both a little confused. I am blaming it on the sun coming out for the first time in a week. It was an absolutely beautiful day.

Even with the lack of focus, we still managed to get a few things accomplished. I think Matilda could back her way across the paddock at this point. She clearly feels that this is the task for which she gets rewarded.

One of the first things I did, after greeting her with a click and carrot for not plowing into me as soon as I entered the paddock, was leave her. She stood and watched me walk across the paddock and when I turned around and faced her, to invite her to come to me, she took two large and deliberate steps backward. I don't know what the conventional wisdom is on horsey facial expressions, but I read confusion, as in "I guess I am supposed to step backwards, because that is what I do, but how am I going to get the carrot all the way over here?" I thought it was pretty funny.

That was the only time I was really able to walk away from her. I wanted to work on our spacial issues by moving into her space, so that she could move away, and then walking away from her so that she could approach me and learn to stop at an appropriate distance. Whenever I tried to walk away from her, after that first time, she was practically stepping on my heels... but she always took a step back when I turned to face her:) I discovered quickly that in order to have any chance at this, I had to be able to drop or toss the carrot on the ground where she could spend a little time looking for it.

I noticed on the very first day that Matilda did not understand this concept. She is used to getting treats from a person's hand and the idea that she might have to look for it was simply not there. There are many reasons why I need for her to do this, not the least of which is that I don't always want her to have to come all the way to me to get her reward. It seemed like a good place to start, especially since I couldn't get more than an arms length away from her in order to do anything else.

We began the same exercise, with me moving in to her chest or shoulders and waiting for her to distance herself, but this time after the click I would hold up the carrot so she could see it and say "Watch" (more for my benefit than hers) and toss it gently in the air so that the natural arc would always be within her view. I'm not sure if she was watching the carrot or responding to the gentle "thud" as it hit the ground but she started to get the idea. I had to show her the carrot, unwisely bending over to point and guide her eye and nose to it, about a half dozen times. Over time I was able to start tossing the carrot further away so she would have to search it out and I could walk away.

I started to notice a bit of an unwelcome pattern emerge. Whether I moved into her or she to me, she is touching the pail and/or me before taking her step backwards most of the time. I think our cause and effect is getting a bit muddled and to be honest, I was a little bored with the exercise. That may be part of the cause for my lack of focus. I need to start rewarding her only when she doesn't touch me, but I just couldn't go any further yesterday. I needed to pull back and think about exactly what I'm getting vs. what I want and how to make the transition in a way that won't overly frustrate Matilda.

In any event, I've got her picking up carrots off the ground and I am being touched by her nose more often than punched or mauled. She is being much gentler in her overall handling of me and there were several times that she was able to approach and stop without actually touching me. (Always celebrate your accomplishments, people, no matter how small)

I know now that, while there will always be an element of "winging it", I need a clear plan for each day and it's time to introduce the target training. Time to put her focus on something other than me and the pail. That being said, I am off to a couple of stores to try and find the stuff that I want and need for whatever is coming next.

Lofty Goals v. Reality (Mon. Jan. 17)

2011-01-18T16:57:00.003-05:00

"Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised."
-Dan in Real Life (one of my all time favorite movies)

Things went so well that first day, that I thought I would be able to lock down "respect my space" in no time and be able to move on to something else. Not so. There was no one at My Barn when I arrived and Matilda's night time paddock mate, Black Jack the pony, was still in the paddock. I really wasn't sure what to do with Black Jack, so I just decided to ignore him. Not optimal conditions, but I thought I could manage.

Matilda walked up immediately, but stopped before she was on top of me. Good! Then she started testing me, nosing, stepping forward, then stepping back. She is getting a click each time she steps back.

One of the difficulties that I am going to have with this project is that I am teaching myself about the nuances of this clicker training at the same time I am teaching Matilda how to behave. This means mistakes will be made and progress will be slow. Here is where I made my first mistake.

I decided that Matilda was taking enough steps back that I could add in a verbal cue and teach her to back up on command at the same time that I was teaching her to stay an arms length away. It was too much. Matilda got frustrated, I think she was worried about moving too far away from me and the carrots, especially with Black Jack lingering and watching. In our second session she started pinning back her ears and chasing Black Jack away. I was worried that if I push her too far, her frustration and irritation with Black Jack might get transferred to me and things just might get a little too confused and muddled.

I ended up taking the verbal cue back out and re-thinking the space issue. When you are doing clicker training, it is apparently important to focus on ONE THING, maybe visualizing it in its totality. If I am going to teach Matilda to respect my space, that means she needs to keep a safe distance from me no matter where I am. I started moving into her left shoulder. She turned to face me, then backed away. Ah yes, this is what I am talking about. No mixed messages, no pushing for more steps back, just keep away from me. My ultimate goal now is that she is simply far enough away so that she can't punch me in the gut and I have to reach out to give her the reward.

I moved slowly around her, never further down her side than her shoulder. Things were certainly too tenuous for me to try to get to close to her back side. I just moved slowly from shoulder to shoulder and let her turn and back away. Very nice.

Before I left My Barn for the day, I had an apple to give her. I think this will be a nice routine each day: when she gets the apple, we are done, I won't ask her for anything else. When I entered the paddock, I was as far away from her as I could be, maybe 50 yards. She looked at me and started walking to me, I waited for her. She stopped so that her chest was about an arms length away, nosed my belly and took one step back. Click/apple!

Two steps forward, One step back (Thurs. Jan. 13)

2011-01-18T16:12:00.005-05:00

My primary goal for this first day is to teach Matilda about the clicker. This is a two fold goal because first, she has to learn that the click means reward and second, she has to learn that the click is not random, it is linked to her behavior. Now God has blessed me in life by providing me with a multitude of highly food motivated animals, so I don't foresee any problems with the first part. I am not so sure how the second part will go.

Matilda is the horse version of a close talker. She loves to be near to her people and steps on feet, punches you with her sizable nose, nips and shoves, so I came into the day with two options to start with: respect my space (stay an arms length away) or target training (touch something with your nose). Both are good launching points and necessary.

Part of my plan is to do 2-3 short sessions on each visit to the barn, at least 3 days a week. I launched into my first session by simply entering her paddock. She spends a few hours alone in the paddock most days and, since the paddocks at My Barn are nice, rocky, soil paddocks, there are few distractions there. I am armed with a clicker and a small pail of carrots. I cut a hole out of the lid of the pail that is big enough for my hand but too small for that nose of hers.

As Matilda approached me I began to wonder if this was a good idea. I have no divider and no control over her, she is not even wearing a harness. In fact the only control I have is this little one and a half inch clicker and she doesn't even know what that is yet! Nevertheless, I have spent some time in the paddock with Matilda and feel like I know what to expect and am reasonably safe.

I started by doing a few simple clicks and treats, holding the bucket under one arm and the clicker all the way out, away from my body and on the other side. Within a few clicks she was nosing my hand with the clicker and ignoring the bucket! She gets it. This is essentially the beginning of target training, touch my hand and click/treat. After a few minutes I left to give us both a break and work on some other things.

When I came back, intending to continue with the target training, Matilda had other ideas. Apparently leaving with some carrots left in the bucket was not a good idea to her. I got mauled. She kept her nose on the bucket, punched my stomach and arm (not hard, no worries) and nipped at my hands... forget target training.

Standing your ground is not an easy thing to do with this girl, but I felt I had no choice at this point. I just waited it out. After checking me out from head to toe for what seemed a VERY long time, she finally pulled her head away. Click/treat. This went on for some time, a period of mauling, followed by the head being pulled back. Click/treat. Finally she stood in front of me and started just swinging her head back and forth, checking me out with both eyes. Click/treat every time she pulled that big old head away.

After a while, I decided I had had enough. I need more than this and we still have time and carrots. Matilda also needs to understand that this is going to involve more than her head. I'll be watching those feet too.

I stopped clicking for the head movement and watched her feet. Poor Matilda, she tried everything to get those carrots. When swinging the head didn't work, she went back to the old stand by, mauling. This time she actually did a nerve wracking full circle around me, taking time to check the back of my knees and under my hat. I stood my ground and eventually she came back in front of me and started swinging the head back and forth. Then it happened. My eyes were glued to her feet and I saw one move the tiniest bit back. Click/treat. That surprised her. We went through the mauling routine again and then she picked up her feet, but she moved FORWARD, much to my horror. I was certainly not going to click for THAT. I also refuse to click for head swinging, now that I've clicked for foot movement. I had to be patient. She was getting impatient, too, and stomped both feet in place. I'll take it. Click/treat.

After that one, I could almost see her thinking about it. And then, another step forward, another body check. She is going to have me on the ground soon, but I just couldn't walk away until I had one more chance to click. She pulled her head away and looked at me for a second and took one small step back with the left foot. Thank you Lord! One final click, the rest of the carrots and I was out of there!

I promise I will try to keep my posts shorter, that first one got away from me a bit. whew.

The Plan

2011-01-16T17:49:00.000-05:00

The Plan? What Plan? I haven't even started and I am already behind. Those who know me are already thinking "typical" with rolled eyeballs. Ah well.

Seriously, though, the plan is to play it by ear and see how far I can take this. I have a "to do list" for Matilda and I, with things like: respect my space, target training, stand still for grooming and walk with me. I have loftier goals such as performing walk and trot circles off the line. Wouldn't that be cool? I would love to get to the point where I would feel comfortable getting up on her again, but one thing at a time.

Ultimately there are more important, necessary and immediate goals: have patience, start small, let Matilda learn at her own pace, etc. These are the most difficult. I have a habit of seeing what I want with the mind's eye and skipping steps 1-100, going straight to 101. I can't do that here. Matilda deserves my time, attention and patience. Besides, when one does that, one gets frustrated and quits. Kim said she will bug me if I try to back out and I trust her to do that.

So to start, Matilda must understand the clicker and what it means: "Click" means treat, it also means you are doing something right. I am debating starting out with "respect my space" or "target training" (touching some sort of target at the end of a stick). I think I will let her decide.

A Little Back Story

2011-01-15T17:51:00.000-05:00

Meet Matilda, an eight year old Gypsy Vanner/Thoroughbred cross weighing in at about 1600 lbs. I've only been on her a couple of times, but I will always remember that first time with her. Well over two years ago, it was simply cantering. Not intentionally. I asked her to walk, she cantered. Trot, she cantered. Cool down, she cantered. I couldn't stop her either. All I could do was hold my seat and wait for her to stop, which she always did... until I would ask her to do something, then it was canter. I have to say that she was very kind about it. No sudden stops, gentle turns around the ring. Except for that one time that she used a tree limb growing into the ring to scrape me off her back, sort of like scraping batter off of the side of a bowl using a spatula. I landed on my feet so that one went onto the books as an "unexpected dismount".

Since I met Matilda, I have seen her break lunge lines and lunge line clips. She has pulled both of my husband's shoulders (also on the lunge) and lost him multiple times off of her back, once resulting in a compression fracture in his back the day before we flew to San Francisco. But the story of that trip is for another day.

Needless to say, there is no real love lost between Matilda and I. She is sweet, but quite a handful. To the best of my knowledge, she has been out in the pasture for about two years now. My Barn (the Barn where I am boarding a horse and take lessons - I think of it as My Barn, caps intended) has been changing around her and although she is loved and well cared for, there has been no one available to work with her. So now she is my project.

I have a wonderful Barn. A place of understanding and healing, one that has been patiently walking me through my own issues of slow learning, with an equal helping of passion for and fear of horses giving me four years of two steps forward and one to twelve steps back. Kim, the owner of My Barn, is now a mentor, teacher and friend. She has entrusted me with this horse, knowing that it will be an important learning and growing experience for both me and Matilda. I cannot wait to see how far I can take this.